National Blog Posting Month, also known as NaBloPoMo, is 2 days away. I never heard about this until reading the post that I’m reblogging. I have neither the dedication nor the material needed to participate, but if any of you are interested, check it out.
Originally posted on Somewhere there is Jeannie:
One of the things I’d like to do more of is write. I have heard about NaNoWriMo but it came around once a year in November, and I always learn about it too late! Well, I recently learned about NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month), and I’ve decided to participate and write a blog post each weekday. I’m participating via BlogHer though I don’t think I will blog based on the theme, which is Perspective.
It has been a while since my last update. Here’s why…
A good friend & donor to my fundraising campaign suggested that I take a break from anything & everything having to do with looking for employment during the holidays. She knows how much stress I’ve endured since August because of this situation. I listened to her and it did me a world of good. After the holidays, I re-started looking & applying anywhere for almost anything.
Looking & applying haven’t been fruitful overall because the economy here still sucks. From August 2013 until the end of 2013, I got calls for only 3 job interviews (1 part-time position, 2 full-time positions) out of countless jobs for which I applied. (Still haven’t heard anything from either of the three.) However, last week must have been a lucky week because I interviewed for 3 different positions (1 part-time, 2 full-time) in 3 days back-to-back; one of them called me for a 2nd interview, which I also attended last week. Hopefully something will come through. If not, I’ll keep looking & applying anyway, just like I’ve done since this situation began in August. I’ve looked and applied in different states & countries, for different opportunities and on different levels (over-qualified, under-qualified, and everything in between).
Returning overseas… I’m ambivalent. While I’ve fundraised the money needed for a new work visa (by the way, still accepting extra donations to help me get back on track), I vacillate daily between returning to England for 1-2 years and saying to myself “WTF is the point?” The country, and everything that happened to me, left a horrible taste in my mouth. I also feel somewhat defeated. I don’t know… my life (and my Self) is still in a very grey space and it’ll take me a very long time to get clarity. I still receive inquiries from England recruiters, which is alright, but I’m unclear about the visa process (haven’t applied since 2010) and may need sponsorship first before applying. So that’s another dilemma to handle, as I’m not sure what’ll happen with job opportunities here (or anywhere else, for that matter).
This is the short version of the story called my life. I’m still in limbo until further notice.
Home (bitter)sweet home. https://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/10/27/home-bittersweet-home/
Hard knock life. https://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/11/06/hard-knock-life/
This sounds familiar. https://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/11/14/this-sounds-familiar/
Reset my life. https://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/11/21/reset-my-life/
Some things change… https://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/12/19/some-things-change/
Tomorrow 05.27.2013 is Memorial Day back home. It’s a day that most Americans have off as a federal holiday, and we make the most of it – countless shopping sales, gatherings, parties, and the good ol American barbecue/grill-fest. But most importantly, Memorial Day celebrates & remembers those who fought & died while fighting for the United States in different wars. I dedicate this re-blog to my friend Jeff Lebrun, who died in Iraq over 8 years ago in the name of an unjust war (another debate for another time), as well as the countless others who died fighting for the U.S. military. Enjoy the day off, but don’t forget the day’s main purpose.
This post sounds about right to me. Personally, I found myself nodding my head in agreement while reading this. Fellow expatriates, take a look. Do you identify with the original post, or was yours a different experience? Feel free to comment & share.
Side note: This post somewhat ties in to the next post that I’ve already drafted (and briefly mentioned in my Weekly Photo Challenge: From Above post). Please stay tuned.
Originally posted on Thought Catalog:
The reality is (I promised myself I wouldn’t use the phrase “In this economy”) a lot of people have to relocate in order to achieve their desired career/lifestyle/lack-of-total-poverty. This is as frightening as it is exciting. Yes, a change of scenery can be refreshing and can totally alter one’s perspective and approach to life, but it can also make one feel alienated, vulnerable, and generally #dark.
There are some very real stages of acceptance in the transition between cities/lives. I’ve recently gone through this myself, having relocated from Montreal to New York City, but so far so good.
Keep these grounding mantras in mind and you might get through it all right. Not like, “everything works out like it does in the movies” all right so much as “avoiding a panic attack and/or emotional meltdown” all right.
You will want to see all of your friends who live in your…
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1. A woman who has remained single beyond the conventional age for marrying.
2. A single woman.
Wikipedia definition: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spinster
– Paying extra taxes [don’t forget to file yours (!)].
– Paying extra for travel insurance.
– Paying extra for auto insurance.
– Paying expensive single supplements on my travels & accommodation.
– Being a minus 1 at almost all events.
– “You’re in this country all by yourself?” questions.
– “Why do you live alone? Don’t you get lonely?” questions.
– “Why are you single?” questions.
– “When are you gonna have a baby/some babies?” questions.
– Buying in bulk, with things spoiling, because there’s too much food for 1 person.
The word spinster was originally coined as a negative term for unmarried women of a certain age. I call myself a spinster because the absurd notion behind the word is funny enough for me to take back the word, in a sense, and call myself a spinster in a positive way.
I can testify to the great things about being a spinster/single/solo. I can do whatever I want without worrying about the needs of others all the time. As a single introvert, I can spend time alone without feeling bad or weird about it. I can dedicate my time to whatever I want – travelling, volunteering, work, attending theatre, sleeping, drinking tea, etc. I can focus on paying down my debt without worrying about who else it’ll impact. I can explore the world when I want, however I want. And let’s face it – while being in a good relationship is a bonus, being single and “doing bad all by myself” is definitely a stress reducer in a world where the good pickings are slim.
But the things I mentioned earlier… those things are the typical nuisances that come with the spinster/single/solo territory. And some of those things are costly. For example, when I went to Portugal last year with one of my Meetup groups, one could get one’s own room… for a price. Single supplements are often at least £70.00. That’s the only reason why I opted not to get a single room. (Luckily, my sharing arrangement worked out well.) There are many other trips I’d love to take, but the single supplement alone holds me back sometimes, whether I’m in the United States or the United Kingdom.
And don’t get me started on the social implications. Travelling solo is cool for exploring however one wants to and meeting people… until they start asking “why are you all alone?” or “without your family?” or “without your man/partner?”. (And I just “love” the “I couldn’t travel by myself.” comments [and other variations]). Then come the explanations & justifications, since sometimes a one-sentence answer isn’t enough for some people. (The same happens even when not travelling.)
small rant do you know how many loaves of bread I’ve bought here, only for them to go bad a couple of days later? Yes… it’s a small gripe, but a gripe nonetheless.
While singles are nowhere near a marginalised group in the grand scheme of things, it’d be helpful for others to realise that being single ≠ rich, wealthy, care-free, or expendable income. We have bills to pay just like non-singles. We pay extra taxes, with no tax breaks at all, unlike non-singles. We have to survive & (try to) thrive, just like non-singles. I hope that the needs of solo travellers & solo expatriates come to the forefront sooner rather than later because damn it, I need a tax break and some extra discounts too.
Onely: Single and Happy http://onely.org/
Onely guest post in Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201006/can-you-name-the-1138-federal-hat-tips-marriage-guest-post-onely
The High Price of Being Single in America http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/01/the-high-price-of-being-single-in-america/267043/
Singled Out (for the Single Supplement) http://travel.nytimes.com/2013/03/10/travel/singled-out-for-the-single-supplement.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1&
The truth about taxes: Uncoupled singles always pay a penalty http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bella-depaulo/the-truth-about-taxes-unc_b_537861.html
1,138 hat tips (PDF report included) http://www.gao.gov/products/GAO-04-353R
When ‘Married’ Is No Longer the Norm http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eleanore-s-wells/when-married-is-no-longer-norm_b_2864140.html