And I’m off again, this time to San Juan, Puerto Rico. Blog posts later (including finishing the ones about the United Arab Emirates). See you in a few.
Emirates). See you in a few.
The day was here. It was only less than 2 months before that I’d purchased the tickets…
Xmas Day 2014, the middle of the night. It was 04:00 and I wasn’t sleeping well for some reason. I decided to get on social media and I saw what I thought was a joke – glitch fares for different flights going to select cities in Africa, Asia and the Middle East. I hesitantly checked. Lo & behold, the prices were real. I nervously clicked the “submit” button. I was so excited that I sent a text to my close friend saying (something to the effect of)
“Listen, I just bought a ticket to the Middle East for (insert low dollar amount here) round-trip. When you get up, text or call me and let me know if you want in. It’ll be my treat.”
I dozed off, then the phone rang a little after 08:00 or so. My friend called to say
“Are you kidding me? HELL YEAH I wanna go!”
I laughed, got back on the internet and to my surprise, the glitch fare was still there. I bought her ticket while we were on the phone, then said
“Merry Xmas, Happy New Year, happy birthday, Happy 4th of July, don’t ask me for shit for at least a year.” :-|
I then tried buying a ticket for my oldest nephew, who’d told me that he has wanted to visit the Middle East (Dubai specifically) for a long time, but the website said he was too young (15 at time of purchase) to have his own ticket. So in other words, I should’ve bought his ticket with mine. (He came over later that day for Xmas lunch/dinner and told me that he’d have missed a lot of school if he went. I’ll plan around his school vacations next time.) So I said to my friend
“Since I can’t bring (oldest nephew), I’m thinking about who else I can treat…”
I knew my uncle couldn’t go, and my aunt is too fickle & fidgety to sit on an hours-long flight. So even though I wanted to take them, I knew it’d be a no-go. The first person that came to my mind after them – my ex-stepfather. Although he and my bio mother divorced ages ago, he has been a good presence in my life. (I still call him my stepfather.) So I called him and he was on the road with his wife, driving down South for Xmas vacation. I told him what was up, he immediately said “Okay”, and I bought the ticket.
“Merry Xmas, Happy New Year, happy birthday, Happy Father’s Day, Happy every holiday.” :-|
I was so excited, I didn’t sleep for about 24 hours after that. :-|
I booked accommodation and a couple major attractions over the next few weeks. 02.18.2015 approached quickly and soon, off we went. We had a layover in Chicago for about 90 minutes, then a 13 hour flight from Chicago to Abu Dhabi – crossing many time zones and not arriving until 02.19.2015 in the evening. Since we arrived late, I didn’t take many photos that evening, but I took some beginning the next day. Check them out below.
After our first 2 nights in Abu Dhabi, we headed to Dubai for about 36 hours. Stay tuned for my Dubai post, then Abu Dhabi again, next…
February is Black History Month in the United States. Check out these photos of enslaved blacks freed by the 13th Amendment.
Originally posted on theGrio:
January 31st marked the 150th anniversary of the signing of the Thirteenth Amendment, which abolished slavery.
To commemorate the occasion new photos have been released showing some of the men and women who lived through that era – and were finally granted their freedom.
The portraits focused on a group of 500 people and were taken in the late 1930s, as part of the Federal Writers’ Project (FWP), 70 years after abolition.
The set was eventually published in 1941 and called Slave Narratives: A Folk History of Slaveryin the United States from Interviews with Former Slaves. All total, there were 17 volumes. While the pictures give an honest glimpse into an important part of our past – historians agree the stories in the collection are biased since they were conducted by white interviewers.
Slavery historian John Blassingame publicly said that the collection can present “a simplistic and distorted view of the plantation” that is too positive. But…
View original 109 more words
Who forces time is pushed back by time; who yields to time finds time on his side. –The Talmud
(NOTE: this is a long one, with a bit of cursing, disclosure, no punches pulled, and vulnerability. Don’t like any of that? Don’t bother reading any further.)
Picture it: October 2013.
Aside from a few pieces of luggage filled to the brim with whatever I could carry, I returned home with almost nothing. The life I was trying to build in the United Kingdom was snatched from me.
I’d been placed on unpaid leave on August 9, 2013 – in contemplation of dismissal – by a shady employer that misinformed me about my work visa, among other things. Because of the employer, I accidentally overstayed my work visa by about 2 months by the time I received notification from the Home Office on August 8, 2013. I then had to report to the local immigration office like a criminal – once per week initially, then once every 2 weeks. I was evicted from my beautiful apartment in October by what turned out to be a shady landlord (I’ll never forget, Gary Sheppard of southeast London). I’d been his tenant for over 3 years and even offered him my security deposit, but money over everything, right? For 3 weeks before leaving the United Kingdom, I stayed with someone who insisted that I stay with her after my eviction. (I won’t mention her name here, but can’t thank her enough.)
I asked the male DNA contributor to please help me get a ticket home; there was no real response. Things were so bad that an American colleague took the male DNA contributor’s number from my phone to call and explain how bad things were. (Even though I knew it was a waste of time, she insisted.) Male DNA contributor begrudgingly bought a ticket, didn’t accept my thank yous, and treated me like shit. After almost 3 months of no contact (didn’t even check to make sure of my safe arrival to the U.S.), the male DNA contributor e-mailed me – not to say “hello” or “how are you?”, but to tell me that “you owe me (insert U.S. dollar amount here)”. No exaggeration – that’s what the e-mail said. When I responded that I was living from couch to couch, the male DNA contributor stated that I was exaggerating and need to look for work to pay back the money, along with some other really fucked up things that I can’t remember off the top of my head. Male DNA contributor would’ve known that I was looking all day every day, including weekends, at employment opportunities, had there been any effort to check on me. Don’t worry… I washed my hands for good.
The female DNA contributor isn’t much better. (Boy… if there’s a higher power, he or she sure knows how to pick the people whom they want to create new human beings. :-| ) Complete narcissistic waste of time & energy. Don’t worry… I washed my hands for good a while ago. At least I don’t discriminate, right?
Another person from England, whom I’d known for 10 years, insisted that I pay her back $50.00 I owed her in spite of full knowledge of my situation. Yes… $50.00. I was so stunned that she had the nerve to ask me for money she knew I didn’t have, that I just responded with “not a problem”. I gave her the bit of money (and boy, was it just a bit) I got from the former employer about 5 weeks later and after that… *crickets* - no “hello” or “how are you?” or even “f*** you” after that. I waited 1 year for her to say something to me on any form of social media or technology… still *crickets*. I was there for her during some really difficult times (including an abusive relationship), before and after my move to England, and she threw everything away for 50 U.S. dollars. Don’t worry… I washed my hands for good.
At one point, I don’t think that even my aunt & uncle – who are like real parents to me – realized the gravity of my situation. And I’ll admit, I was angry at & frustrated with them for a bit before my return home. But once they realized how bad things were, that was it. I began staying with them before Xmas 2013.
I forgot to mention that since I accidentally overstayed my visa because of the former employer, along with reporting to the local immigration office, I was banned from returning to the United Kingdom for 1 year. Once I gave up all chances of returning after being shafted by recruitment agencies, I gave up trying to get back to the country and sat out my 1 year ban.
And so many other painful stories of betrayal and outright dismissal, from so-called colleagues, friends & relatives, that I could recount since I hit my rock bottom. (I’m not sure if those people deserve my energy, though.)
But then there are people such as:
I know I’ve forgotten some names, but I hope those people know my heart.
I think things are beginning to look up.
I sit here, typing this with tears in my eyes. (A few of ‘em even fell.) Some feel like sad tears, but more feel like grateful tears. For those who left me when I needed it most, farewell. For the rest of you, I’m eternally grateful. I thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart.
Little by little, step by step, day by day.
I don’t blog about stuff like this (except when I did it for myself). But this is a friend of mine, and when I was going through my personal hell in the United Kingdom and back here in the United States, he and his wife went above & beyond to help me. (They even still have my barrel of stuff.) I wouldn’t post this if I thought it was bullshit; I only post with honesty & integrity, and people who know me in real life can vouch for me.
Please, if you can, find it in your heart to help him (and his family). And feel free to pass this link along; they’ll appreciate any help they can get. Thank you.
Health issues and help to see The Grateful Dead http://www.gofundme.com/kcmgfc
It snowed a little less than a week ago, but aside from that, it hasn’t been a white Xmas/winter so far. It’s quite cold here otherwise.
How are the weather & temperature in your part of the world?
Exactly 1 year ago today, I left the United Kingdom after living there for over 3 years. It’s hard to even type that.
One of my dreams as a kid was to live abroad, whether for a long time or for good. That dream came true when I was given the opportunity to work in the United Kingdom. That dream came to an end, and not in the way in which I wanted. I even planned to return, but to no avail.
Were it up to me, I’d still be there. I wanted to get extra professional experience, dual citizenship, extra chances to travel, and a new life. I wanted things to end on my terms; I wanted to leave when I was ready. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. I lost almost everything; my dream went down the drain. I came back to the United States with only a few suitcases holding a bit of clothing, a few books, and a few treasured items. Meanwhile, those that fucked up my dream continue on as if nothing happened.
I was ashamed because even though it wasn’t my fault, I came home with nothing to show for my time there (or that’s how it seems). I came home to couchsurfing, no job in sight, and very little support – family included. I lost a lot (and gained nothing but pounds). Family turned on me. Friends – scarce. And retelling my story over again – not an option. I have to live it and that’s painful enough, so why the hell would I want to repeat it?
1 year ago today marked the end of an era, the end of my dream as I had it planned and hoped it’d turn out. It’s still a bit painful, still bittersweet. I miss traveling. I miss my Meetup groups and the experiences that came along with them. I missed living abroad. I experience nostalgia sometimes, and I miss the few dear friends I made, so much. I miss what could’ve and should’ve been.
But maybe… just maybe… the end was the beginning of a new part of my life journey. Only time will tell. And as far as that country, I’m not yet done with it. I still have unfinished business there to handle, and most importantly, I still have a few dear friends there.
I needed to get this out. Thanks for reading/listening. And please stay tuned; I still have a long road ahead.
I’m feeling: busy.
I’m listening to: A Charlie Brown Christmas.
I’m grateful for: my new Kindle, purchased exactly 1 month ago. The ability to read for pleasure again; while I love regular books, carrying them around only made my back & neck issues worsen. Paying off another debt in September. Filling out, and mailing off, the paperwork/application needed for my next highest professional license eligibility to take the professional exam for said licence. Health insurance. Having my oldest nephew not only come up to the U.S. for school, but living just a 5-10 minute drive away from me. Getting to see a friend of mine and her husband visiting from England (family wedding).
I’m creating: possibly another group at the job. A good future for myself, hopefully.
I’m enjoying: reading. How To Get Away With Murder. Being single – been single for a very long time, but enjoying it even more lately, as it allows me to focus on rebuilding my life without any male distractions.
I’m thinking about: the things that have come to fruition since that tarot reading. What’s next for me after getting the next highest professional license. My next steps in terms of handling business in England. How damn high plane ticket prices are to England. How damn high plane ticket prices are to visit my aunt in Kentucky. WTF do these airlines want, a mortgage payment? :-|
I’m looking forward to: the weekend.
I’m learning to/practicing to/working on/embracing: be grateful because even though things aren’t perfect, I can’t really complain now. Take things one small step at a time; sometimes that’s hard to remember. Remember that while seeing others doing well sometimes gets me down, their journeys aren’t mine – my day will come.
Around the house are: my exercise sneakers.
In my kitchen: a few new grocery items.
I’m planning later in the coming week to: continue checking flight prices to Kentucky and England. Follow up with a few questions about handling my business in England. Follow up with the doctor for another appointment. Continue working out. Cook – we’ve now delegated cooking for each person on certain days, and the weekend is now delegated to me to cook weekly. Check that my license paperwork/application made it to the state board offices. Research study guides for the licensing exam. Hopefully see my oldest nephew – you know teens don’t like hanging out with old folks, but damn it, he better see me this coming week. :-|
My quote/verse for the upcoming week is: Everyone has a story. http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2014/45272.html
I’m wishing you: a good week. Wholeness. Peace.
Exactly 1 year ago today, I received a letter in the mail that’d change my life for a long time, if not for good.
It was a Thursday evening, and I came home from a long day at work, with my team on duty for 3 days straight. I was glad to be home. It’d been my home for a little over 3 years, and I thought I’d be there for a long time to come.
There was mail in front of my door. I picked it up and saw that one piece was from the Home Office. I thought to myself
Oh, good. The Home Office will renew my visa. I’ll get to stay here a bit longer, save money, travel a bit, and even look into dual citizenship.
I put away my belongings, settled in to read my mail and maybe watch a little television – likely something I DVRed, no doubt. I opened the Home Office mail and read it. Then my heart sank deep into my stomach. The Home Office denied my visa application. I was a overstayer.
I re-read the letter a few times to make sure that it wasn’t a joke. But nothing in the letter changed. I was an accidental overstayer. I was speechless for a bit, and even fought back tears. (I can’t remember who won – me or the tears.) I called my aunt and let her know, and I told her I’d keep her posted.
Little did I know that this was the beginning of the end – the end of my expatriate life, the end of my independence, and the end of my life as I lived it for ___ years. And to this day, I’m still feeling the effects – they aren’t as strong as 1 year ago or even a few months ago, but they’re still there.
I hope my day is so busy that I don’t dwell on the anniversary. I hope that the bitterness goes away completely one day – some of it is gone, but some still remains. I hope that I can handle unfinished business over there. But in the meantime, for the way my expatriate life ended over there, that place can go straight to hell.
I’m feeling: contemplative.
I’m listening to: one of my co-workers blasting music in Spanish. It’s the end of the work week and big bosses took the day off, so why not.
I’m thinking: I’ve come a long way, but still have a very long way to go. I shouldn’t let life get in the way of blogging weekly or so. I need a real vacation.
I’m reading: The Social Work Interview. Only a few pages in, but at least that’s a start?
I’m looking forward to: getting my hair done; it has been over 3 months. Having next Friday off for seeing my stepmother & sister next weekend. Getting away for that weekend. The time when I’ll be able to really travel again. The time when I’ll finally be back on my feet, independent again.
I’m learning that: I’ve come a long way, but still have a very long way to go and more self-work to do. Sometimes, just listening is all a person needs to begin healing. (Luckily as an introvert, listening is one thing I do alright.) I don’t have to allow someone else’s negativity to affect me. I’m seeing how some people give without expecting anything back in return. I may have to do even more than I’m already doing to lose weight (and trust me, I’m tracking & doing everything possible). Expecting less = less disappointment.
I’m enjoying: my aunt’s NutriBullet juices & smoothies. The experimentation has been quite tasty.
I’m grateful for: being employed in spite of the job being imperfect. The ability to buy a bus ticket to see my stepmother & sister. Paying off 3 debts so far this year. Doing the tarot reading that my friend kept insisting I should try; it was a new experience and gave me lots of food for thought. My aunt & uncle. My stepfather. Learning something new every day. Dodging literal bullets. Joining the gym. Finding a Groupon deal for the local kickboxing gym; it helps me mix up my exercise/workout while saving a few bucks. Finally making & completing one of my doctor’s appointments. Living in a peaceful home with aunt & uncle from the very start – they say it’s my energy/spirit/aura, but surely it isn’t just me contributing. Chatting with my friend’s daughter in England on Whatsapp – she’s getting married next year, very happy for her and will definitely attend. Getting a call from another expatriate who’s still in England but hopefully returning here soon – it was so good to hear from them.
Around the house are: fans and an air conditioner.
In the kitchen: fruits that aunt bought to experiment with juices & smoothies.
In the coming week, I plan to: follow-up with one more doctor’s appointment. Cook once or twice. Work out (as usual). Get a lock for the gym locker. Weigh myself (for better or worse, it hasn’t been done in over a month and it needs doing). Work late to have Friday off to see my stepmother & sister. Speak with someone who can verify my hours for my next professional license paperwork & test. Think even more about my tarot reading – so much food for thought.
My quote/verse for the upcoming week is: Growing Pains