Moved from the United States to the United Kingdom… and back to the United States. Currently in long-term limbo. My good, bad & ugly experiences as a former expatriate and (possibly) permanent repatriate (who'll continue traveling no matter what).

Posts tagged “home sweet home

Wall Street Journal article: Repatriation blues.

As a repatriate, some of the points in this article hit home, especially since my return was (mostly) involuntary. Take a look at the article below and feel free to comment. Hopefully, other repatriates will comment too.

Repatriation Blues: Expats Struggle With The Dark Side Of Coming Home

http://blogs.wsj.com/expat/2015/04/15/repatriation-blues-expats-struggle-with-the-dark-side-of-coming-home/


Opinion piece – The Next Great Migration.

This is a New York Times opinion piece making the case for more Black Americans to consider expatriation. As someone who has been there and done that, this wasn’t a surprising read to me and is mostly relatable.

No country is a utopia, let’s get that straight. But it’s easy for me, a former expatriate, to understand the reasoning behind this opinion piece. America is in a tie, in my opinion, with Australia for being the most racist/prejudiced country on the planet. Any deeper-thinking and feeling person (who happens to be Black American) would want to leave a country in which we were enslaved in the past and still fighting for equality in the present.

Enough of my jet-lagged rambling. Take a look at this, and feel free to comment.

New York Times opinion piece – The Next Great Migration http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/01/opinion/sunday/the-next-great-migration.html?smid=pl-share&_r=1


Please help. (Friends edition.)

I don’t blog about stuff like this (except when I did it for myself). But this is a friend of mine, and when I was going through my personal hell in the United Kingdom and back here in the United States, he and his wife went above & beyond to help me. (They even still have my barrel of stuff.) I wouldn’t post this if I thought it was bullshit; I only post with honesty & integrity, and people who know me in real life can vouch for me.

Please, if you can, find it in your heart to help him (and his family). And feel free to pass this link along; they’ll appreciate any help they can get. Thank you.

Health issues and help to see The Grateful Dead http://www.gofundme.com/kcmgfc


Merry Xmas/Happy Holidays.

Wishing you happiness, love & peace today. (And hopefully a day or two off.) Bless.

Christmas Time Is Here (song)

Charlie Brown’s Christmas Tales


Let it snow.

Let it snow. (my photo, added to Instagram)

Let it snow. (my photo, added to Instagram)

It snowed a little less than a week ago, but aside from that, it hasn’t been a white Xmas/winter so far. It’s quite cold here otherwise.

How are the weather & temperature in your part of the world?


Gratitude 10.26.2014.

Written 10.26.2014:

I’m feeling: relaxed after getting lots of sleep.

I’m listening to: a DVRed episode of Dead Again.

I’m grateful for: a steady paycheck – I don’t have to enjoy my job, but it’s providing for now. New professional opportunities. My clients enjoying themselves at a local arts foundation. A new jacket for autumn – something I wasn’t able to get 1 year ago due to what happened to me. Having a few days off from work a few days ago to handle some business. Speaking to my 2nd oldest nephew for his birthday earlier this month. Learning about different ways to get cheap(er) plane tickets via Facebook (of all places). Being contacted by a former co-worker in England, who confirmed that I dodged a bullet in spite of what they did to me. Seeing a friend of mine whom I hadn’t seen in a few years (good to see you, R). My new fitness tracker – the price dropped so I took advantage. A discerning spirit.

I’m creating: the possibility of a new professional opportunity.

I’m enjoying: reading. My Kindle. Kindle daily deals, which help me save money on buying books. Dead Again. A less complicated life. Slowly but surely getting back on my feet.

I’m thinking about: what’s next for me after getting the next highest professional license. Where this potential professional opportunity may take me. The fact that it has been 1 year since I had to leave England. How bittersweet it is to think about returning here, and how it still affects me to this day. When I’m going to return to handle my business there, as this professional opportunity may take precedence over returning there next month and, therefore, delay my return there for a month or so.

I’m reading: I’m actually trying to decide what to read next. I just finished The Alchemist a few days ago, and I have so many decent books on my Kindle, I don’t know where to start next. I may read one of the books that I read when I was younger, just to read whichever book I choose with an older & wiser perspective. Stay tuned.

I’m looking forward to: seeing D’NALI this week. :-) Weighing myself to see if I lost any weight. (P.S. losing weight is hard, and I hope this is my first & only time having to do it.)

I’m learning to/practicing to/working on/embracing: ways to avoid going down the rabbit hole. Rebuilding my life slowly but surely. My fitness, health & wellness.

Around the house are: my exercise sneakers. Clean laundry waiting to be put away. Healthy snacks.

In my kitchen: is a pot soaking in the sink.

I’m planning later in the coming week to: return to checking flight prices to/from Kentucky and England – gave up for a bit due to frustration over prices, but recently learned (what are hopefully) 1 or 2 helpful tricks. Follow up with a few questions about handling my business in England – that was frustrating too. Check that one last piece of information for my license paperwork/application made it to the state board offices (luckily, the rest of the paperwork is already there). Meet up with D’NALI. Possibly meet up with step-dad for dinner later this week. Buy a bus ticket to see my stepmother & sister in Pennsylvania again. Follow up on that professional opportunity. Continue working out. Attend my doctor’s appointment.

My quote/verse for the upcoming week is: don’t sweat the small stuff; pick & choose battles wisely.

I’m wishing you: a good, peaceful & productive week.

My clients made books.

My clients made books.


The end. (Or the beginning?)

Exactly 1 year ago today, I left the United Kingdom after living there for over 3 years. It’s hard to even type that.

One of my dreams as a kid was to live abroad, whether for a long time or for good. That dream came true when I was given the opportunity to work in the United Kingdom. That dream came to an end, and not in the way in which I wanted. I even planned to return, but to no avail.

Were it up to me, I’d still be there. I wanted to get extra professional experience, dual citizenship, extra chances to travel, and a new life. I wanted things to end on my terms; I wanted to leave when I was ready. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. I lost almost everything; my dream went down the drain. I came back to the United States with only a few suitcases holding a bit of clothing, a few books, and a few treasured items. Meanwhile, those that fucked up my dream continue on as if nothing happened.

I was ashamed because even though it wasn’t my fault, I came home with nothing to show for my time there (or that’s how it seems). I came home to couchsurfing, no job in sight, and very little support – family included. I lost a lot (and gained nothing but pounds). Family turned on me. Friends – scarce. And retelling my story over again – not an option. I have to live it and that’s painful enough, so why the hell would I want to repeat it?

1 year ago today marked the end of an era, the end of my dream as I had it planned and hoped it’d turn out. It’s still a bit painful, still bittersweet. I miss traveling. I miss my Meetup groups and the experiences that came along with them. I missed living abroad. I experience nostalgia sometimes, and I miss the few dear friends I made, so much. I miss what could’ve and should’ve been.

But maybe… just maybe… the end was the beginning of a new part of my life journey. Only time will tell. And as far as that country, I’m not yet done with it. I still have unfinished business there to handle, and most importantly, I still have a few dear friends there.

I needed to get this out. Thanks for reading/listening. And please stay tuned; I still have a long road ahead.

IMG_1003


Week in review 06.15.2014.

Today:

I’m feeling: a little relaxed, physically. Otherwise, so-so.

I’m listening to: (or more like watching) Investigation Discovery channel.

I’m thinking: hopefully this week will be better than last week. Last week was rough & disappointing, in my professional life and my personal life.

The weather wasn't much better.

The weather wasn’t much better.

I’m reading: on the internet to try catching up with current events.

I’m looking forward to: joining Planet Fitness later this week. Taking another kickboxing class (planning to do this once per week or once biweekly). My sister’s birthday. My uncle’s birthday.

2014-06-12 18.30.02-2

I’m learning that: friendship is fleeting. It’s not always me, it’s you/them. No matter what one says or does (or doesn’t say or doesn’t do), one can’t satisfy everyone. I can’t take on others’ personal issues. I must look out for myself because no job no friend no relative no one else will.

I’m enjoying: not much this past week, unfortunately.

I’m creating/planning: my next steps professionally and personally. A trip somewhere – don’t know where, but the travel bug is back again and it must be addressed with an overseas trip (hopefully within the next 12 months). The expatriate bug has been biting on & off too, so who knows what’s next…

I’m grateful for: spending time with my friend’s family on Friday evening – they’re the American version of the Mauritian family in England. Someone online who not only offered me an ear, but followed through and lent it to me – too many make promises and don’t keep ’em, do things only if it benefits them and if it’s reciprocated even more than what they gave.

Around the house are: my boxing gloves for kickboxing class.

In the kitchen: a Carvel ice cream cake for my uncle for Father’s Day and a quickly-planned lunch for my uncle (nothing fancy, but hopefully he’ll like it).

I’m planning this week to: schedule other appointments with referred doctors. Cook once or twice. Take kickboxing class again. Join Planet Fitness. Figure out my next professional steps. Figure out how to get to my stepmother’s graduation barbeque. Rethink all friendships. Rethink myself. Try staying focused on rebuilding my life because unfortunately, what that borough did to me still reverberates throughout my life to this day.

My quote/verse for the upcoming week is:

“Even when we’re quiet and don’t know what to say, we can be heard. Even when we are wordless, we can be understood.”

(Introvert Spring)


Week in review 13-18 May.

Today:

I’m feeling: under the weather. Damn blasted allergies. :-|

I’m listening to: myself typing on this keyboard, along with silence. Aunt is taking a nap, uncle is outside doing who knows what, and I’m recovering from exercising and a night out.

I’m thinking: when aunt wakes up and we go run errands, I need to get some extra-strength allergy medicine. :-|

I’m reading: same as last week. Hoping to get a Kindle some time next month.

I’m looking forward to: the upcoming long weekend (Memorial Day). Dinner with (ex) stepfather this week (he had a family emergency last week, so we postponed). One of our staff members returning to work from knee surgery so that my load is lightened a bit. (I’m also glad, of course, that the staff member is recovering well.)

I’m learning: that I can’t make a person change; one must want change for oneself. It sucks feeling helpless about it, but I can’t do anything to change another. That I may have a few extra opportunities to advance my career, thanks to hearing things confirmed through the grapevine. That even though recruitment agencies from England keep contacting me, not a damn thing has changed with their social services system. (One borough wants to interview me when they come to New York City next month, but I’m extremely ambivalent about returning there for many reasons. Here’s one of the reasons why.)

I’m enjoying: being “in the know” just a little when it comes to some things at work. I appreciate being valued by a job and knowing a few inner workings of upper management. I don’t know what the future holds, but if nothing else, this job is definitely a learning experience.

Work bound.

Work bound.

I’m creating: dinner tonight, and they better eat every bite. :-|

I’m grateful for: getting to celebrate my good friend’s milestone birthday last night. Seeing a few people at the gathering who I’ve not seen in as little as a few years and as much as double-digit years. Lots of laughter. Being mindful of what I ate and not going overboard (healthy living can be hard – but not impossible – sometimes). Enjoying Reese’s peanut butter cups and still not going overboard. Allowing myself exercise breaks when needed, like today. My (ex) stepmother graduating with her Master’s of Social Work yesterday; I’m so happy for her, and I hope that I helped her even 1% with my advice. I couldn’t attend the graduation, but I’ll see her and my youngest sister at her celebration next month. :-)

Happy birthday, friend.

Happy birthday, friend.

Around the house are: weekly groceries to be put away. New laundry to be put away.

In the kitchen: dinner food in the refrigerator, waiting to be cooked later. Dishes in the sink that aunt is complaining about even though I told her I’ll wash ’em after I finish cooking. :-| Food to be prepped for the rest of the week; always better to get it out of the way now when I have time. :-|

I’m planning this week to: schedule a doctor’s appointment for the first time since returning to the U.S.; I won’t bore anyone with my gripes about the healthcare system. Cook once or twice. Find out if anyone is having a Memorial Day weekend barbeque or gathering. Get a well-overdue manicure & pedicure for my upcoming trip to see my sister and a friend or two. Shampoo 9 years’ worth of dreads (D’NALI started ’em for me 05.15.2005).

IMG_0372

My quote/verse for the upcoming week is: It wasn’t a waste of time if you learned something.

IMG_0497


Finally.

I’m pleased to tell you that after 7 months of hell & unemployment – an employer that turned out to be shady, forced repatriation, sending out hundreds of copies of my resumé, receiving countless rejection letters (or not receiving any responses at all) after interviews that turned out to be fruitless, and many other disappointments – I finally got a job offer and began working a few days ago.

Words fail me, as I’ve experienced so much over the past 7 months. Betrayed by an employer, betrayed by certain relatives, rejected by recruiters & recruitment agencies in England, etc. 7 months of hell. Therefore, I can’t find the words now to express my feelings/thoughts. For now, I’ll just say thank you, supporters.

More writing to come in the future; I’ll have a lot to say and need to figure out how to organize it. Little by little, step by step, day by day.

Related posts:
Home (bitter)sweet home.
https://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/10/27/home-bittersweet-home/

Hard knock life. https://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/11/06/hard-knock-life/

This sounds familiar. https://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/11/14/this-sounds-familiar/

Reset my life. https://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/11/21/reset-my-life/

Jobseeker(s). https://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/12/04/jobseekers/

Some things change… https://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/12/19/some-things-change/

Limbo. https://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2014/01/20/limbo/

Staying put. https://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2014/02/03/staying-put/