7 years ago today, I returned to the United States. It wasn’t something I wanted to do.
It’d been a lifelong dream of mine to live overseas. Unfortunately, that dream was dashed when I received notification from the Home Office that I overstayed my work visa (it was an accident on my part, but nonetheless). My now-former employer hadn’t provided me with proper guidance around renewing my work visa, along with numerous other shady things and, as a result, I was placed on unpaid leave, forced to attend the Home Office every week like a criminal, evicted from my beautiful apartment, and (voluntarily) involuntarily left my second home on this day 7 years ago. I had all intentions of returning overseas, but that didn’t work out and I gave up. And coming home, not everything was the same.
Time sometimes heals all wounds. After 7 years, many things have happened – good, bad, and everything in between – that gave me perspective and made me glad that I was forced to return home. But every once in a while, I’ll hear or see something or someone related to the United Kingdom that provokes negative emotions inside of me – anger, defeat, disappointment, jealousy, longing, great sadness. And I’ve come to realize that this god-forsaken pandemic has only exacerbated these feelings this October, which tends to be a difficult month because of the forced repatriation and other things.
But on the other hand, I want to go (to my second) home and visit my loved ones. Most of my time living there was alright, and I try to remember the good times.
But I can’t travel. And I won’t. I don’t want them to be at risk, and I don’t want to put myself at risk. But as annoyed as I am about these travel restrictions, I want to ensure that things are somewhat okay before I get back to globetrotting.
I want to travel more than I ever have because of this f***ing pandemic. Being unable to do so, not having any real control over that, the uncertainty, this invisible thing causing so much chaos and death and sickness all over the world… I’m over it.
Call all of this s***, the 7 year itch.