Love, me.



Love is “the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth. …Love is as love does. Love is an act of will – namely, both an intention & an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.” —Erich Fromm, taken from bell hooks’ book All About Love: New Visions.

I figured I should write an obligatory Valentine’s Day post. Why not.

I’m a solo expatriate. I’m sure that there are some around me who know that and probably feel sorry for me. I mean, how could I possibly be in another country (or anywhere, for that matter) by myself and not be lonely or miserable? How could I not be bitter, frustrated, angry even, about being solo on a day like this? And if I were back home, it’d be even worse; that I’m single in a community that has fairly low marriage rates and expects me to compete for what’s considered “the best” in that community, likely causes even more people to have pity for me.

Well, au contraire, sisters & brothers worldwide. I’m alright. This isn’t the 1st time that I’ve spent Valentine’s Day alone, and it likely isn’t the last. But that’s alright. Although there are things about myself that I’m working on or have already worked on, as life is a journey in & of itself….. overall, I’m alright with me. In addition, I’ve often treated myself nice on this particular day with a small ritual. I’ll wear at least one red item of clothing, treat myself to something involving lots of chocolate, order in some dinner, play nice music and just relax. And finally, I believe that we should celebrate love every day, not just this particular day; although celebrating with a partner today is nice, there are 364-365 other days of the year that all kinds of love (not just intimate/romantic love) abound.

Roses are red.

Roses are red.

I feel sorry for 2 groups of people today:

those who are bitter (but are probably envious of those getting a gift and/or shagged today)
Bitterness doesn’t solve anything and hurts no one but oneself. Take it from someone who knows firsthand.

those who can’t fathom the idea of being single today (or any other time of the year)
Having a woman or man around or, even better, having easy access to sex, doesn’t make one person better than another, nor does it make a person complete. In my humble opinion, it speaks volumes when a man or woman has to have someone around due to their own insecurities (or whatever other issues abound). Whoever said “I can do bad by myself” was telling the truth.

This is a day like any other. Spend it as you would any other day. Celebrate you. Love you. And in the end…..

Love, me. 😉

Love links:

Baggage Reclaim – Valentine’s Day: Notes On Love From Me To You

Solo Traveler – Romantic Destinations For Solo Travelers



  1. Janice · February 14, 2011


    This is a day like any other. A day that should be filled and celebrated with love whether you have a partner or not.

    When my husband was alive, we rarely noticed Valentine’s Day. It is artificially manufactured and static whereas our love was organically alive.

    Enjoy all the love in your life including the love of yourself.

    Thanks for the nod to Solo Traveler.



    • ph2072 · February 14, 2011

      Anytime, Janice. And thank you for your thoughts. 🙂


  2. Natalie · February 14, 2011

    Happy Valentine’s Day and thanks for sharing your thoughts and including a link to me. Bitterness or fear of being single are two things that assure someone of ending up in a painful relationship. Too busy focusing on what you think you don’t have and making it too much of a focal point. There’s more to life.


    • ph2072 · February 14, 2011

      Thank you and I hope you’ve enjoyed yours. 🙂 I agree with you 100%.

      (And of course, you’re welcome. Anytime.)


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  4. creative urbanista · February 15, 2011

    I just wish people wouldn’t automatically assume that everyone who is single on V-day is bitter. I’d rather not celebrate it and get that love all year round than be treated like a dog all year and the man bend over backwards to show love on one day. Fantasized about getting some chocolates, but since I recently lost weight, I treated myself to a workout.


    • ph2072 · February 17, 2011

      Agreed. 🙂


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