How many of us have them?
Ones we can depend on
How many of us have them?
Before we go any further, let’s be
Is a word we use everyday
Most the time we use it in the wrong way
Now you can look the word up, again and again
But the dictionary doesn’t know the meaning of friends
I’ll be heading home for Xmas for 3 weeks, thanks to Europe’s strong belief in vacation time – lots of it. I’m looking forward to going home; I’ll get to see my closest family members & friends, eat food that I’ve missed for 6 months, and just plain old enjoy myself without worrying about work. I’m hoping to get to at least 1 other state to see family, but if I can’t afford it, at least I’ll be in my hometown and I can try that another time.
I’ve always been a big believer in closure, even during times that I wasn’t able to get proper closure from others. I had to learn how to do so on my own. Needless to say, leaving the United States forced me into another round of closures. On a good note, my closures with my closest friends, family members & mentors only forged our ties even more. On the other hand, I completely cut ties with a few people (including family members) and cooled down ties with others.
I blocked someone on Facebook (and off-line) who got mad at me on the eve of my close-friends-only going-away dinner (how convenient) for something so stupid that it doesn’t even deserve mention on here. I only extended an invitation because the person couldn’t come to the informal gathering, but it’s the principle of the matter that counts. (The fool recently voted for my character on a game we used to play together on Facebook; it annoyed me but I laughed it off as a passive-aggressive attempt at being nosey. Yes, I’m an adult who plays a game on Facebook. Shoot me for needing diversion from time to time. 😐 )There are other people who I’ve known for years who should have attended (either 1 or both of) my going-away gatherings, but for some reason(s) or another, didn’t show up and made excuses. I’m not angry with them, but it made me see them in a different light….. especially since skipping out on things is a habit for some of them.
So far, I’ve only told my closest family members & friends who have maintained consistent contact with me (whether it’s once a week or once a month, it’s the thought that counts). I’ll see those people without a doubt, no matter how broke I am and no matter what it takes. The fact that they’ve kept in touch with me through the ups & downs of this experience speaks volumes and I can’t thank them enough. But the other people fit in a grey area.
You know those people.
Those are the people who didn’t know about my departure until a little over 2 weeks before I moved strictly because we weren’t that close to begin with and, when invited to my informal going-away gathering, didn’t make efforts to show up or couldn’t come for whatever reason(s) – valid (living too far away) or not. Also included in that group of people are those I’ve known for years who didn’t show up and made excuses (most of which were bullshit). A few of those people make it such a habit to not show up that I’m used to it, but I figured they’d at least try to make it to 1 of the 2 gatherings. And at least 1 of those people is so self-involved & shallow & superficial that the person wanted everything done on their watch, making everything about them as usual. That didn’t happen, nor will it ever again.
So….. What to do? I’ve been thinking about this for the past few days; I’ll be home in less than 3 weeks and this is a dilemma for me.
Has this happened with any fellow expatriates/travellers? How did you handle this before going home?
Any insight would be appreciated.