Been a while.

Yes, I know… but please hear me out.

The last time I wrote a full-on blog post was when I was going through some transitions.  (I wrote a couple after that, but they were either photo challenges or more like short notifications.)  While I’m still transitioning, I think I’m getting into more of a routine now, enough to write this post.  (Plus, I’m off today.)  What was going on, you ask?  Here you go:

1. At the end of July 2012, my team merged with another team in a new building, not too far from my original building. They told us that due to austerity measures and a more streamlined service, things were better this way.  We were skeptical about it, but glad that we’d still be a team within this new consolidated team; we worked together and got along very well as a team for the over 2 years I was there.  

Sometime between the end of July and October 2012, the director of the new team said there’d be more changes, but never gave any hint about the changes so we could prepare.  So while we knew that extra changes were in the works, no one expected the news on October 1st that our team would be completely deleted.  Individually (and as a team but especially individually), it affected each of us more than we thought it would.  Word got out to the rest of the teams in the borough, and they were just as surprised as us.

Between October and November, we were in limbo.  We had to decide whether we each wanted to remain with the other team… but there were caveats – all the new positions are for unqualified (unlicensed, in U.S. terms) workers, and the pay is lower.  The few positions (maybe 2 or 3?) available for qualified workers were already earmarked.  While that wasn’t explicitly stated, we already knew in our minds what’d happen.  We had to make difficult decisions in a very short time. 

October 31st was our last day as a team.  We’d soon be split up for good.  My supervisor left.  We were officially out of work, even though we had to come to the office daily; we still got paid, but it just wasn’t the same.  I got home that evening and slept for at least 12 hours.  While I put on a brave face at work, every thing clearly took a toll on me (same for my team members).  

While this was going on, I looked elsewhere, in & out of the borough.  I soon realised that I didn’t want any more long-term work, holding cases for months at a time.  Before my supervisor left, she suggested I join a team that, while challenging, has less case-holding responsibility and quick turnover.  I thought about it, it made sense, and I approached the service manager of that particular team on my own.  We met, spoke for 1/2 hour, and I decided to try it.  While we met, I felt a sense of calm wash over me; I knew that I was making the right decision.  A week later, I shadowed a worker on the new team.  The week after that, I met with who would be my new team manager and my new supervisor.  And about a week and a half after that, on December 10th, I started on the new team in my original building – full circle and right where I started when I moved here in the first place.

2. A few days after starting with the new team, I found out that my maternal great-aunt passed away.  She was 85 years old and lived a long life.  However, everything since October 1st took a toll on me so when I found out, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back and I lost it.  (Also, out of 10 sisters & brothers – my grandmother included – her passing leaves just 2 sisters.  It drove home even more that my maternal descendants are closer to leaving us.)  I couldn’t attend the service, which hurt even more (and is a negative aspect of being an expatriate).  I also thought I wouldn’t get home for Xmas due to financial difficulties (I lucked out 5 days before Xmas). So all of that, coupled with possibly not being with loved ones during the holidays, made the last 3 months of 2012 feel like a whole year.

OH!  I forgot to mention:

  • My dear friend’s brother developed a serious and potentially life-threatening illness.  (It has since been dealt with, and is still being dealt with.)
  • Another friend’s niece was stillborn.
  • My uncle’s grandmother, who raised him some of his life, passed away a few days after my great-aunt died.  (She was either 101 or 102 years old, but it hit him hard.  And when he hurts, I hurt.)

I’m almost sure I’m forgetting a few other terrible things that happened between October 1 and December 31, 2012. So yeah… I wasn’t in the mood to write a damn thing.  I just wanted to be away from this country and with my loved ones.  I posted a few photo challenges on here (which also took lots of energy), but aside from that, I couldn’t do it.

While I’m still observing & learning things on the new team (Rome wasn’t built in a day), and while other changes are afoot throughout the borough (you can thank the government for that), I’m just glad to have a job that’s in very little to no danger.  I’m also glad that I’m usually diligent about things like ensuring my credentials, especially since all qualified workers in my field must be registered as of December 1, 2012 otherwise one cannot work in my field without doing so.  I also learned a little about my rights as a worker and legal resident non-citizen.  And whether I like it or not, trials take forever to go away, but somehow or another they will pass.  

My new work responsibilities are quite time and energy-consuming, which is another reason why I’ve not posted lately.  But I have drafts sitting in my WordPress dashboard, and I hope that I can settle into enough of a routine, with enough energy & time, to blog weekly again.  

Remembering the Victims of London’s 7/7 Bombings

Spinster:

There really isn’t much else to add to this. As with September 11, 2001 in the United States, July 7, 2005 is a day that’ll never be forgotten in the United Kingdom, and I think that the original blog post & my tags on this post speak for my thoughts about today.

Originally posted on Here There Everywhere:

Today 7 years ago tragedy struck the capital.  The day before London had been announced as the winner of the 2012 summer Olympics.  When I moved here in September 2008 the bombings were still in my mind.  I wasn’t scared of being in London (if I was I wouldn’t have come) but riding the tube did make me feel a bit anxious.

7_July_Memorial_-_Hyde_ParkSource

One of my first memories of the tube was riding the escalator out of Kings Cross, looking around and thinking that something here was amiss.  There was damage everywhere.  It didn’t click for me, not until months later when I went to the Museum of London and came across a Book of Tributes.  As I flipped through I read about the events of 7/7/2005.  I read about the 52 people who died that day and the 700 injured.

In the run up to the anniversary this week there was…

View original 230 more words

Short commercial break: Trayvon Martin.

(written March 17, 2012)

Trayvon Martin.

This isn’t a 100% travel- or expatriate-related post, but it’s important enough for me to stray away from those topics a bit. As an expatriate, it’s important to me to keep abreast of current events in my home country. The following story is also one of the reasons why I left the United States and, therefore, somewhat relates to my expatriate experiences. I’m going to keep this post short because Trayvon Martin’s story infuriates me to no end, and I refuse to read or listen to anything about it until this cold-blooded racist asshole killer gets locked up. However, I wanted to give this story another platform so that it can reach all corners of the earth if possible.

When I first heard about this, I read that the scumbag killed an innocent & unarmed Black American 17-year-old named Trayvon Martin because he looked suspicious in the neighborhood… even though his father lives in said neighborhood. I checked to see if this boy had any criminal history because sometimes, people protest certain things even though the person involved was less than savory while alive, but of course this boy has no criminal history whatsoever. Then I read that when police searched the 17 year old’s body, they found a bag of Skittles & a can of iced tea – no weapons whatsoever. (I guess that Skittles & iced tea are really fucking lethal weapons that either I didn’t know about or described as such in state or federal legislation since I moved over here, unbeknownst to me.) Then I read that this scumbag is still walking the streets 1 month after he gunned down this innocent & unarmed Black American boy who went to the corner store to buy his little brother some candy & something to drink. As a matter-of-fact, this scumbag just started college courses to study criminal justice!

Who looks more dangerous?

Who looks more dangerous?

Now do you understand why this infuriates me? Now do you see why I refuse to read or listen to anything about this until this scumbag gets locked up & sentenced to no less than 25 years to life?

I’ve said enough; I feel the fury & rage again so I’ll end here.

Please, I beg of you, sign this Change petition. While I’m not listening to or reading about this unless real justice gets served, I suggest that you read more/do your research about this senseless & needless killing on your own. And if you feel so moved, raise hell about this case. One way that you can do that is by calling Sanford (Florida) Police Department’s Bill Lee at (407) 688-5070 (overseas – 001 407 688 5070). Tell Bill Lee to arrest George Zimmerman, the scumbag who killed this boy for no valid reason. Call Bill Lee until he can’t take it anymore. As for me, I’ll repeat this one more time:

I refuse to read or listen to anything about it until this cold-blooded racist asshole killer gets brought to justice. I don’t want to hear anything less than 25 years to life. Anything less is unacceptable.

UPDATE: Over 1,000,000 signatures. GREAT!!! :-) http://www.wesh.com/r/30738229/detail.html Keep on signing, keep on calling, keep on raising hell.

New York Times op-ed piece http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/17/opinion/blow-the-curious-case-of-trayvon-martin.html?_r=1&src=tp&smid=fb-share
I’m not the only one blogging this. http://showedupandshowedout.wordpress.com/2012/03/19/trayvon-martin/
Witnesses to his death heard his cries before he got shot http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/03/15/2696446/trayvon-martin-case.html
Audio – 911 call http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmnqKotpSD0
Change.org petition to arrest this scumbag killer http://www.change.org/trayvon
MoveOn.org petition to arrest this scumbag killer http://www.moveon.org/r?r=272971&id=37516-14438746-KyhaBix&t=2

Aside

Riotous thoughts.

I’m engrossed in my own world sometimes, along with greatly decreasing my consumption of negative news & blog reading. So I didn’t know anything about the Tottenham riots until someone wrote to me asking if I was “alright over there in riot-land?”. I said “Huh? What riots? Did I miss something?” The person mentioned Tottenham, I looked it up, and there it was.

Police shot & killed Mark Duggan on Thursday August 4th during a gun crime operation (Operation Trident). Guns are illegal here and most police don’t carry guns except under special circumstances and only for certain police forces. According to what I’ve read (if I read/understood correctly), police officers believed that Mr. Duggan, aged 29 with 4 children, shot first; a police officer was saved only by his police radio, which sustained damage by blocking the bullet. (An initial inquiry found this to be incorrect: Duggan did not use a gun or shoot anyone.) On Saturday August 6th, Duggan’s family conducted a peaceful march to Tottenham police station and under the circumstances, all was well. Then, a 16-year-old girl allegedly walked to the police station towards the end of the peaceful protest at around 20:30 and demanded answers about the shooting. A witness stated that the 16-year-old threw a leaflet and possibly a stone at police, at which point the police attacked her. This is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

A once peaceful protest became violent – arson, innocent bystanders being beaten by rioters, destruction of homes & businesses. The violence spread through the night into Enfield, where more of the same took place on Sunday August 7th. A smaller riot also broke out in Brixton that evening, which is interesting because Brixton isn’t near either of the affected areas and it has its own riotous history (please see sources at the end of this entry). Much to the chagrin of many people, the riots spread to other parts of London on Monday August 8th – shutting down shopping centers, high streets, & businesses as well as destroying homes, businesses & cars via arson. Some people were hurt, and to date, 5 people have died as a result.

During this time, I watched TV news & read online news. While I wasn’t directly affected (like a fellow expatriate’s friend who lost his flat via arson), it was emotionally & mentally draining for me and many others to watch. Now that things have calmed down, here are my thoughts/opinions about the riots.*
_____________________________________

Punish those who participated in the riots/looting. Plain & simple. 5 people died as a result of the madness. People lost homes & businesses & cars, some via arson. Businesses closed for days, with many losing money as a result. Whether it’s community service, being forced to repay the value of what was lost, or doing time, they deserve punishment.

Whether people want to admit it or not, there are a few people in society who form a criminal element. This isn’t relegated to race/ethnicity, like some (racist & other) people insist. (Racists, who are usually idiots, will always think that a collective group are bad, and nothing will change that.) Of the few who form that element, there are a smaller number who will never “get” it, never change, and will be a part of that element for life. (Here’s a perfect example.) That handful definitely participated in the riots/looting & need to be punished harshly. As I wrote in a blog post, the criminal justice system here is too lax for my liking and, therefore, those criminals likely won’t be punished as severely as they deserve.

The United Kingdom has a documented history of police stop & search against people of color. With such unfortunate events as the Amadou Diallo police shooting & police brutality against Abner Louima back at home, as an outsider looking in I understand why some direct their rage against those who should uphold the law & defend the civilian population against crime/criminals. Some police officers use stop-and-search as a racist tool instead of using it for everyone regardless of race/ethnicity & class. (In my view, some police officers were punks as kids and use their new-found powers as police officers to bully others, but I digress.)

However (continuing from above), not every unfortunate police incident happens because of the person’s race/ethnicity. Some unfortunate incidents happen because, wouldn’t you know it, the person involved is a criminal (here’s a youthful example).

Some people are using these riots as an excuse to create a “race war”, whether in their own minds or in real life. In my opinion, this defeats the purpose of the original peaceful march. While an injustice occurred, Duggan’s loved ones didn’t march to start a race war. Just as the family of Ian Thompson fought against the police in courts of law, so Duggan’s loved ones marched in protest of the same entity to seek answers & justice for Duggan’s life. Sadly, I’ve not heard any updates on the Duggan police shooting case because the riots, idiotic rioters & political posturing took precedence over a worthy cause.

I spoke with a colleague and she mentioned something interesting that applies to what I said above regarding “race wars”: some people – including those involved in the riots, those who live here, and those outside of the United Kingdom – are avoiding the real challenges in this country by invoking race as the major (and/or only) issue. Race is just one layer on the onion, and it’s not even the thickest layer in the grander scheme of things.

Lots of people have their own opinions & thoughts & beliefs about the causes of these riots. Lots of those people, unlike me, live outside of the United Kingdom. In my opinion, at least 98% of those people should shut their mouths, put their Ph.D’s in Armchair Philosophy in the nearest shredder, and return to school for a degree in something else.

David Cameron is a simpleton. I say that with the utmost respect because I’d prefer to use a few choice curse words to describe him instead but won’t. He had to be forced to return to the United Kingdom from his holiday in Tuscany, and when he finally returned, it was under the guise of concern for the public. Sir, your fake spine doesn’t fool me. Threatening to cut benefits and lock down social media & cell phones will do absolutely nothing to get to the core challenges that most of the populace faces. While I understand the reasoning behind cutting benefits, these are surface & faux strong-arm solutions to challenges that are as deep as the Mariana Trench.

We live in a microwave society – people want things done in 90 seconds or less. After my lighthearted debate about voting, this is more obvious to me. While I understand the thoughts & feelings behind the riots (and rioters), these are limited thought processes. Major change does not occur without community organization, planned actions, blood, sweat & tears. For the simplest examples, please re-read your history books – Civil Rights Movement, feminist movement, women’s suffrage movement, (legal) slavery abolishing, American independence from Great Britain, Haiti’s independence from France, and the list goes on & on. In the case of civil rights in the United States, there’s still a long way to go because change doesn’t occur as quick as our microwave society wants it to, but my people have come pretty damn far in the meantime.
_____________________________________

These are some of my thoughts about the riots. Feel free to add yours to the comments section.

*Please see the blog’s About section for my disclaimer.

Sources:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/aug/06/tottenham-riots-protesters-police
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/aug/07/tottenham-riots-peaceful-protest?intcmp=239
http://worldblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/08/07/7292281-the-sad-truth-behind-london-riot

Brixton 1981 riot (archive): http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/1981/apr/13/fromthearchive
Wikipedia (needs more citations for verification): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1981_Brixton_riot
Brixton 1985 riot (part 1): http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/september/28/newsid_2540000/2540397.stm
Brixton 1985 riot (part 2): http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/1985/oct/07/ukcrime.garethparry
Brixton 1995 riot (Wikipedia): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brixton_riot_(1995)
Brixton 1995 riot: http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/december/13/newsid_2559000/2559341.stm
David Starkey: the whites have become black http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2011/aug/15/david-starkey-newsinght-race-remarks

And a child shall lead them.

And a child shall lead them.

Aside

The Riots 4 – street debate.

“I’m not young, yeah. I’m 43 years old and I don’t vote.”, said the man as we talked.

Somehow or another, these people (those who believe either one, a few, most or all conspiracy theories) find me. All I wanted to do was take a few photos & (maybe) video, go to the grocery store quick, and come back to the office. But it doesn’t work that way, it’s never that simple.
____________________

It was Friday afternoon, a few days after the riots began. Things calmed down a bit, so I decided to venture out of the office to get milk for my tea. On the way to the grocery store, I stopped at the place where the “love wall” now stands, the place where I took most photos over the past week (exhibits one & two & three). Since I’m documenting this for proof of history, I took more photos & video at the wall. The “love wall” has become a new community meeting spot of sorts; people gather to post messages of support, dialogue & debate with each other.

Part of the "love wall".

Part of the "love wall".

There were 2 men posting messages on the wall – a community leader in a black suit and a younger man in a t-shirt & jeans helping him. As people came by to watch, some would ask the 2 men different questions about the purpose of the wall. As I took photos & videos, I decided to ask one or two myself. I normally don’t approach people, but since the younger man was next to me, it was a bit easier for me to speak without being noticed.

When he finished speaking with an elderly woman, I asked him:

So what’s next? We have people posting messages here, we have people saying that things need to change. That’s all well & good, but what’s gonna happen in terms of follow-up, action? Are there any community meetings planned? How about a forum? No real change will happen if all we do is talk.

He sighed and said that he didn’t know, but has aspirations to go into politics and works at a local college for now. We talked for a bit about possible changes, community organizing & how to avoid riots of this size in the future, and the topic of voting as a tool for change came up. While we were talking about voting, unbeknownst to us, a few people were listening to us. A man approached us and said

I’m not young, yeah. I’m 43 years old & I don’t vote.

Huh? What? There are people in Europe who don’t believe in voting? It’s not just an American phenomenon?

Sigh. Here we go.

It quickly became a lighthearted debate about the pros & cons of voting: me & Aspiring Politician vs. Proud Non-Voter. Proud Non-Voter used the typical reasons (excuses?) that I’ve heard in the past (and present):

- all political parties are the same
– the bourgeois determines election results before other classes vote and, therefore, it’s pointless
– only the bourgeois class have the real power to decide their interests while the proletariat‘s interests are never acknowledged
– “the man” is keeping people down
– the government is keeping people down
– “the system” was never meant to work in our favor
– voters are too idealistic
– things will not change

I canvassed for voter registration in some rough parts of my hometown some years ago, so I’ve heard the above reasons for people not wanting to vote. In addition to those reasons, being an ex-felon is another reason (depending on which state one resides in) that people give for not voting. I’ll leave that reason (excuse?) alone for now because many states still don’t allow ex-felons to vote, so that’s a genuine reason. But the other reasons, to me, reek of reading from the same handbook. Again. At the end of the day, the reasons (excuses?) go back to 2 common fall-backs: laziness & impatience.

We live in a microwave society – people want things done in 90 seconds or less. Whether it’s voting or any other necessary changes….. If things take too long in the microwave, they’re taken out of that microwave & placed in one that gives quicker results – maybe 60 seconds vs. the longer 90 seconds. As an example, people in Western society have gone from having photos developed over a few days to having them developed in as fast as 30 minutes. (And even then, some people don’t think that that’s fast enough.) I don’t know about anyone else, but the photos of old have a special quality to them; they may not be the quality that we’re used to in this new digital world, but it’s quality nonetheless.

The same can be said for societal change. Unless I’m forgetting something from history classes, macro-level change does not happen as quickly as a microwave society wants it to. There are too many examples to post here, but 2 good examples from the past are the Black American civil rights movement in the United States and the Indian independence movement in India. (A very recent example is the Wisconsin recall vote efforts, which won’t stop anytime soon.) Are things perfect in any of these cases? Of course not. India still deals with (overt or covert) caste systems & remnants of colonialism, and Black Americans still have challenges due to institutional racism. But to look back at either of these movements & deny that any change took place is incorrect at best and disrespectful to one’s ancestors at worst.

In other words, why not vote? Why not do what it takes to foster change? Our ancestors did these things with way fewer resources; what’s our/your excuse?

I believe that change can occur even though it takes time. I hope that the dialogues & debates at the “love wall” spread beyond the neighborhood, inspiring collective follow-up, action, and change. We the people.

P.S. In case you’re wondering, I’m voting in all elections next year & I’ll keep doing so as long as I’m out of the United States. Whenever I can vote here also, I’ll do so. While I understand being impatient & getting lazy, I can’t look back at the energy & blood-sweat-and-tears that my ancestors spent to gain rights for everyone and just give up due to laziness & impatience & conspiracy theories. Theories are just that – theories – and it’s a shame that so many people spit on our ancestors’ hard work.

Aside

The Riots 3 – Conversations.

I wanted to upload some iPhone videos that I’ve taken over the past few days, but unfortunately I didn’t realize that I’d have to pay extra on WordPress to do that. :-| So my observations will have to be seen through my words & photos instead. I’m drafting a blog entry about a conversation that I had about community activism & voting, a conversation partly brought on by my short videos; it will be published within 1 week. In the meantime, here are a few more photos.

Man (white t-shirt) helps community leader (black suit).

Man (white t-shirt) helps community leader (black suit).

Community space.

Community space.

Please stop.

Please stop.

Someone else said it, not me.

Someone else said it, not me.

No.

No.

From the beginning: The Riots & The Riots 2.

Aside

Another (quick) run-in.

06.08.2011

As if what happened yesterday wasn’t enough, I had an urge to run over a little old rude ass lady after work. :-| Check this out…..

Still shaken by yesterday, I fought against the urge to stay home again and made my way to work. Although D is the only one who knows the full story, my other co-workers M & R had an inkling about what happened. R even gave me the number to a confidential 24-hour phone/in-person counselling service, as he could tell how much yesterday affected me. M & R respected me enough to not ask me about the incident, which I appreciated because I’m not ready to discuss it any further. I cancelled all scheduled appointments because I knew my mind wasn’t in the right place to engage with people, so my day went fast and before I knew it, it was time to leave work and head to the gym.

I drove to a major intersection, which is notorious for rush hour traffic, and got caught up in the traffic. Before I knew it, the light turned red and I was blocking most of a cross-walk. I couldn’t move because

- I couldn’t reverse since there were too many cars behind me and not enough room and
– I wasn’t trying to get another ticket of any kind for blocking a major intersection

so I stayed where I was, blocking most of the cross-walk. I’d rather block some or all of a cross-walk than block an intersection and/or run a red light. I already got 1 parking ticket within hours of getting the courtesy car; I can’t afford more tickets. :-|

A few people crossed the street despite the blocked cross-walk. If they were annoyed, they didn’t show it and just hustled across the street since traffic lights switch notoriously fast here. Then one person in particular, an old lady, crossed over. But before she got to the other side of the street, she hit the car hood.

*scratch record* *REWIND*

It took me a second to realize what she did. Then it dawned on me…..

This old lady took her hand and hit the hood of the car! No the hell she didn’t!

How rude.

How rude.

If it was any other day, I may have laughed it off or sucked my teeth dismissing her as an old miserable ass bat. But after what happened yesterday, as well as having another headache, I was not in the mood for bullshit from anyone. Plus, other people saw what she did and I couldn’t let that slide. And even worse yet, what made her think she had the right to put her hands on someone else’s property like that? So I rolled the window down and said in front of the pedestrians

Hey! This is a new car, lady! No need for you to do all that, you fucking jerk!

She made believe she didn’t hear me, but I know she did. I was close & loud enough for her to hear it, and the pedestrians heard & watched me say it. The light turned green and I sped off. Being of age doesn’t give a person any & all kinds of privileges.

Rude old jackass.

Within the past 36 hours, the people in this country & those incidents left a very bad taste in my mouth, enough to wanna go home for good. I’m going out-of-town very soon, and although I didn’t know it then, I scheduled going out-of-town at the perfect time. Were it not for the upcoming trip, I’d catch a case if you know what I’m saying.
_______________________________

Epilogue: The negative feelings have worn off a little. It’s gonna take a while to get the bad taste out of my mouth though. And by the way, if anyone ever says that New Yorkers are rude & nasty, I’ll argue them down and refer them to the United Kingdom. I’m just saying.

Rude old lady.  :-/

Rude old lady. :-/

Aside

Run-in.

06.07.2011

And on the other hand, without a gun they can’t get none
But don’t let it be a black and a white one

Fuck The Police by N.W.A. (very graphic lyrics)

A few days ago, my job gave me a courtesy car. I got a parking ticket within hours of getting it because I had no idea that I couldn’t park in front of my damn house without a permit. As annoyed as I was about it, nothing that happens with this car will probably top the shit that happened today.

I left home to get to work and would’ve been on time had this situation not happened.

I turned on the street needed to get to the main street. While driving on the left/wrong side of the road is confusing, it only takes a day or two to get used to it, depending on the driver. (Blog post about my 1st drive on the left/wrong side of the road later.) So I drove and tried getting on the junction that turns into 3 or 4 lanes and goes on the main street. As I did, a van pulled up on the side of me and damn near hits me. The driver honked at me and purposely braked. As a result, I held the horn and honked for a long time (probably over 10-15 seconds). He kept braking on purpose and I kept honking.

Then suddenly, and I didn’t realize this at first, the driver stopped the van. He got out of the car, came up to the car, called me a “fucking cunt” and goodness knows what else, and spat toward me.

You read that correct. He spat towards me. Had he come 1 or 2 steps closer, the spit would’ve landed on me.

I was absolutely furious. I rolled down my window and said “Fuck you! I’m calling the police.”

It just so happened that the driver was pulling into what (I think) is a hardware store just a few feet away from where this happened. I pulled in right next to the van and called the police while he walked into the store as if nothing happened. I can’t remember everything I said, but I do remember describing the driver and giving the license plate number on the back of the van. As I was speaking to the operator, the driver tried to talk/yell at me. I got loud and started crying angry/frustrated tears.

“How fucking DARE YOU spit at me. I’m not from here. You wouldn’t know that because you were too busy fucking spitting at me! Fuck you! How fucking DARE YOU! You don’t fucking spit at me!”

And I just kept talking. Meanwhile, the operator tried telling me to calm down and speak to him, but I wasn’t paying much attention. Also, someone who works in the store tried to come out and get in between us, but I moved away from that person. I wasn’t trying to get physical so there was no point for that person to get in between a goddamn thing. The driver, being the asshole that I’m sure he is on a daily basis, said

“I didn’t spit at you! Where’s the spit?”

I said

“You fucking liar. You didn’t spit at me? You’re a fucking liar. How fucking DARE you.”

The police pulled up and I got off the phone with the operator. One officer spoke with me and at this point, tears were still pouring because I was furious and I felt helpless. If I was home, I’d feel a hell of a lot better standing up for myself, especially since the police at home carry guns while the toy cops here don’t (except certain teams & under certain circumstances). I told him what happened, explaining to him that even if I did cut the van off, I didn’t mean to because I just began driving here a few days ago. In the meantime, another officer attempted to move my car out of the way. (It’s a hybrid and he didn’t know what he was doing, so I moved it myself.) The one officer I spoke with, went over to the driver and spoke to him.

The driver lied.

The officer came back to me after speaking with the driver, who admitted that he cursed at me & called me names but lied and said that he never spat. I said

“Sir, I have no reason to lie. I wouldn’t be sitting here crying in another country, lying about this. I’m telling you, the man is lying. He spat at me.”

The officer looked on the car and said

“Well, I don’t see anything. He must have bad aim. Did any land on you?”

Me: “No sir. But had he come a step closer, it would have.”

I remember the officer asking how long I’d been driving. I said

“Here or in general?”

“Here.”

“Just a few days. My job gave me this courtesy car a few days ago. But I’ve been driving for years, sir.” (Because if I was a shitty driver, that’d justify the driver being a scumbag & calling me a fucking cunt & spitting toward me. Right.) The officer also said that “independent witnesses” and the driver said that I kept honking at him, the driver admitted to cursing at me because I was honking at him, and – here’s the kicker – the store workers said that he’s a regular customer at the store. My response:

“Of course they’re gonna vouch for him! It’s me against them! I’m telling you officer, he’s fucking lying. I don’t care what he says to those people, he’s lying.”

“Was anyone else in the car with you?”

“No sir, I was on my way to work.”

At some point, the officer said that the police wouldn’t do anything about this situation. “We’re just gonna take everyone’s details. I’ve given him a warning. Is that okay?”

“No, but what can I possibly do.”

“How would the police handle this if you were back in the States?”

I was too upset, and trying a bit too hard to hold back extra tears, to give an answer. I just shrugged and said “I don’t know.”

He asked if I needed a ride home because I wasn’t in a good state to drive, and I said no. I was still close to home so it was pointless. Besides, nothing would help anyway. I got in my car, reversed & turned, and the officer went to block traffic so that I could get back on the road.

As I waited for the officer to block, the driver walked to the van, looked at me until he got into the driver’s seat, and smirked at me. I was too upset to say something aloud like “Fuck you” or “Don’t let me see you in the street, scumbag”, but I damn sure said it in my head. When traffic stopped, I told the officer that he was smirking because he knows he was lying about spitting. I drove back to my house, still crying, and parked.

Since I don’t have a parking permit yet, I went around the corner to pay for parking for an hour until/unless I could find a side street with no permit needed. When I came back to the car, a traffic officer was in the process of writing a ticket across the street from the car. I said

“Sir, please don’t tell me that you’re writing a ticket for that white car.”

The motherfucker stared at me for a minute, then asked me not to shout at him. I was visibly upset and (by this time) had a headache, so shouting wouldn’t help with the headache. (In other words, I wasn’t shouting at the motherfucker.) I told him that I wasn’t shouting & wanted to know if he was writing that ticket for my car because I’d just gone around the corner and had proof that I paid for parking. He explained that I had to park right in front of the ticket box and couldn’t park on my street. I was too upset & furious and felt too helpless & disrespected & low to argue with the motherfucker, so I just said “I can’t win. Ever.” and walked to my car with more tears.

I parked in front of the stupid box for about 1/2 hour and cried while trying to gain back some composure. My co-worker D, who I called & spoke with a few times during the situation, called me again and told me to try finding a parking spot on a street with no signs, if I could gain enough composure to drive. I waited a few minutes, drove off, and was lucky enough to find a street near my house where it’s unnecessary to have a parking permit. My American colleague’s husband called me to see what happened (I’d asked D to speak to her at the office) and I cried some more, then I slowly walked back to my street. A walk that’d normally take 2-3 minutes, took 10 minutes because of a mixture of tears, headache, and feeling like shit.

I stayed home for the rest of the day; despite taking a nap, my headache lasted all day and throughout the night. I tried calling family back home, but of course, no one was available. That made me feel abandoned & even more helpless. I was so annoyed that no one was there for me, I decided I didn’t even want to talk about it any more. I didn’t, and still don’t, feel like rehashing the story over again. That’s most of the reason why I’m writing this entry: all of your answers are here.

But it’s never that simple though. The rest of the week hasn’t been all that wonderful either. To be continued in another blog entry…..