Week in review 13-18 May.

Today:

I’m feeling: under the weather. Damn blasted allergies. :-|

I’m listening to: myself typing on this keyboard, along with silence. Aunt is taking a nap, uncle is outside doing who knows what, and I’m recovering from exercising and a night out.

I’m thinking: when aunt wakes up and we go run errands, I need to get some extra-strength allergy medicine. :-|

I’m reading: same as last week. Hoping to get a Kindle some time next month.

I’m looking forward to: the upcoming long weekend (Memorial Day). Dinner with (ex) stepfather this week (he had a family emergency last week, so we postponed). One of our staff members returning to work from knee surgery so that my load is lightened a bit. (I’m also glad, of course, that the staff member is recovering well.)

I’m learning: that I can’t make a person change; one must want change for oneself. It sucks feeling helpless about it, but I can’t do anything to change another. That I may have a few extra opportunities to advance my career, thanks to hearing things confirmed through the grapevine. That even though recruitment agencies from England keep contacting me, not a damn thing has changed with their social services system. (One borough wants to interview me when they come to New York City next month, but I’m extremely ambivalent about returning there for many reasons. Here’s one of the reasons why.)

I’m enjoying: being “in the know” just a little when it comes to some things at work. I appreciate being valued by a job and knowing a few inner workings of upper management. I don’t know what the future holds, but if nothing else, this job is definitely a learning experience.

Work bound.
Work bound.

I’m creating: dinner tonight, and they better eat every bite. :-|

I’m grateful for: getting to celebrate my good friend’s milestone birthday last night. Seeing a few people at the gathering who I’ve not seen in as little as a few years and as much as double-digit years. Lots of laughter. Being mindful of what I ate and not going overboard (healthy living can be hard – but not impossible – sometimes). Enjoying Reese’s peanut butter cups and still not going overboard. Allowing myself exercise breaks when needed, like today. My (ex) stepmother graduating with her Master’s of Social Work yesterday; I’m so happy for her, and I hope that I helped her even 1% with my advice. I couldn’t attend the graduation, but I’ll see her and my youngest sister at her celebration next month. :-)

Happy birthday, friend.
Happy birthday, friend.

Around the house are: weekly groceries to be put away. New laundry to be put away.

In the kitchen: dinner food in the refrigerator, waiting to be cooked later. Dishes in the sink that aunt is complaining about even though I told her I’ll wash ‘em after I finish cooking. :-| Food to be prepped for the rest of the week; always better to get it out of the way now when I have time. :-|

I’m planning this week to: schedule a doctor’s appointment for the first time since returning to the U.S.; I won’t bore anyone with my gripes about the healthcare system. Cook once or twice. Find out if anyone is having a Memorial Day weekend barbeque or gathering. Get a well-overdue manicure & pedicure for my upcoming trip to see my sister and a friend or two. Shampoo 9 years’ worth of dreads (D’NALI started ‘em for me 05.15.2005).

IMG_0372

My quote/verse for the upcoming week is: It wasn’t a waste of time if you learned something.

IMG_0497

Gratitude whatever-day.

Today:

I’m feeling: my usual tired self, as I almost always am on Mondays. For some reason, I don’t sleep well on Sundays. In spite of that, Mondays usually go by quick & smooth. Grateful to be employed again, after almost 8 months of unemployment & sheer hell. Glad that Memorial Day weekend is almost here, as it’s a national day of remembrance and a day off from work. And finally, grateful that I got to speak to my 3rd & 4th nephews yesterday; the 3rd one celebrated his birthday yesterday. :-)

I’m listening to: myself typing on this keyboard, along with silence on this floor. Everyone is either out to lunch or out doing visits. It’s a nice change of pace for an introvert like me, as I’m kept very busy here and there’s rarely a dull moment. I usually have my headphones attached to my ears no matter where I am, but for now, I’m enjoying the silence and rhythmic tapping of my keyboard.

I’m thinking: of all the work that I’ll finally get to complete. I’m also thinking of the things I have to do for work this week and having some time to catch up for once.

I’m reading: nothing now, unfortunately, unless you count keeping abreast of news & views on the internet. I’ll get back into proper reading once I get a Kindle. I love reading, and I look forward to getting back into it with something lighter than a regular book.

I’m looking forward to: having dinner with my (ex)stepfather for his birthday, which was yesterday. He has been one of the very few people who’ve helped me since everything happened to me, and I can never repay him the way I’d like, but the least I can do is go out with him for his birthday (especially since we haven’t seen each other since I began working and our schedules don’t match up). A short weekend trip later this month to see my (oldest younger) sister and a friend or two on the side.

I’m learning: boundary reinforcement. I can only take on but so much, and when I’m offered help, I should accept it more often.

I’m enjoying: learning more about healthy living since starting the journey over 1 month ago.

I’m creating: a healthier life physically and otherwise. Future opportunities to move up in my career.

I’m grateful for: not having to pay for my short weekend trip to see my sister. Employment. Rebuilding, very slowly but surely. Being able to help others going through hardships, this time with a lens of having experienced similar situations. The very few who’ve stuck with me through all of this. The ability to create my own family because blood isn’t thicker than water in some cases.

Around the house are: laundry to be put away. Goodness knows what else. No problem, though – the house is in good overall condition, and I’m just glad for the unconditional love that my aunt & uncle extended to me.

In my kitchen: my aunt is making ribs (now at work, but she already planned this). I’ll eat ‘em sparingly since I’m on a healthy living journey.

I’m planning later in the coming week to: look at getting short-sleeved shirts since it’s getting warmer. See my (ex)stepfather. Attend my good friend’s milestone birthday gathering.

My quote/verse for the upcoming week is: Little by little, step by step, day by day.

IMG_0482

Gratitude Sunday

Spinster:

Check out my friend’s post. I’m thinking about using a similar format to keep everyone updated about my (non-exciting) life as a former-expatriate-turned-repatriate on a regular basis, instead of always feeling like I should write long blog posts and, therefore, adding even more pressure on myself. This may even help me with writing more often, instead of long periods of time between posting because of long posts (sitting in my drafts folder) that I don’t always have time to finish. Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Originally posted on D'NALI:

Today:

  • I’m feeling: excited and scared at the same time regarding new possibilities.
  • I’m listening to: the quietness of the day.
  • I’m thinking: of all the support I got this past week re some important decisions I need to make.
  • I’m looking forward to: Having my surgery done this week and some days off to recuperate.  I really just want to be done with this.  Participating in Ravelry’s Harry Potter Knitting and Crochet House Cup forum.  Sometimes when I craft for myself or even do KALs/CALs, I don’t always time manage as well as I should.  Participating then eventually being in a House where others depend on you for winning is a great motivator for me.
  • I’m learning: trust.  The next few weeks will be interesting but I have to trust God for an outcome that I know I can’t control or…

View original 320 more words

Are You The Woman That Knocks My Socks Off ??

Spinster:

Let’s give this man a shot. Feel free to pass this along.

Originally posted on Bluefish Way:

Wanted !!

A woman to share my life with !!

separator

I visited Al’s blog last night who is having problems with dating agencies. I don’t do dating agencies. We have both decided to ask our blogging friends if there are any women amongst us who are looking for a serious relationship with either of us.

So I’ll put my cards on the table and will give you a link to my friend’s blog at the end of this post

separator

Ralph

separator

Name:  Ralph

Age:  66

Lives where:  I own top floor large apartment in a mountain village near a river in southern Spain which has marvellous views.

email:  ralph.whillier@gmail.com

separator

map

separator

About myself

What to say ?  My life story ? Just quickly. All my closest family, mother, father, sister are dead. I have been married twice. The first, for 14 years. I have two daughters who I am not in touch with…

View original 564 more words

Thin line between love & hate (Part 1).

I’ve meant to do this series for a while, but I’m glad that I waited until now. I’m not fully “there” yet, but I now feel comfortable enough to write.

As I’ve said countless times, living as an expatriate is a mix of the good, bad & ugly. I’ve been back in the U.S. for over 5 months now, and I’ve had many moments of clarity. A few of those moments entailed mental lists of things I love & hate about the United Kingdom from my experiences living there. Since the country (and its people) basically did a number on my life as I knew it, and it’ll take me a long time to recover, I’ll start with the things I hate about the country. As with any of my lists, they aren’t exhaustive; this is due to concerns about my privacy, possible future developments, and my hate can only last but so long. :-|

Please note: if you’re from there and easily offended, don’t bother reading further than this. The following points will be raw & bitter. These points are my truth, as well as the truth of a few others who’ve had a similar experience to mine. I’ll say what I have to say, and that’s it; if you don’t like it, walk away now. I don’t battle trolls or keyboard gangsters.

1. Dark parts of its history – currently, Britain has invaded all but 22 countries on this planet. All but 22. If you don’t understand how much that is, I’ll make it simple for you: that’s almost 90% of the planet… that means if there were only 10 countries on this planet, Britain would’ve invaded 9 of ‘em. That means Britain gave zero fucks about anyone or anything but itself & its interests. And because of my experience, I learned that Britain is still very much a shady, conniving, low-down country not only on a macro level, but also on a micro level toward people. Its populace inherited the country’s conquering & brutalizing spirit, as shown by the way that they treat people who don’t fit their agendas, whether the affected people know it or not.

2. Sweeping things under the rug – Britain (and some of the United Kingdom’s inhabitants) likes fancying itself as a diverse utopia. While the United States and the United Kingdom have somewhat different stories in terms of slavery & immigration, one thing that’s similar about both countries is their love of sweeping things under the rug – making believe that things did or didn’t happen or, when admitting fault, downplaying it as much as possible. It’s as if they say

There, there now. Fair enough, we conquered & destroyed & disemboweled & killed & pillaged & raped millions of people… but that’s all in the past! No need to bring it up again. Come on, let’s have a cup of tea (United Kingdom)/grab a beer (United States) and forget all about it.

Until Britain (and any other major conquering country) fully acknowledges its part in fucking up most of the planet in some way or another, it’ll not only continue affecting other countries in a negative way, it’ll also continue shattering the lives of people who live there. I mention the lives of people living there because the same characteristics that Britain used/uses to destroy countries got passed down to its populace and they, in turn, affect each life and later make believe that nothing ever happened. Whether they like it or not, some of us may forgive but never forget.

3. Rude people – I’m sure I’ve written about this before (here & here & here). The people are some of the rudest I’ve ever met in my lifetime. Do you have a question or need help with something? You’ll be lucky if anyone hears you and/or gives a straight answer. Are you used to saying “good morning/afternoon/evening” to people around you, no matter who they are? Don’t bother doing that because it’s as if courteous people are aliens from another planet. Do you need to sit down because of an injury, ailment, illness, pregnancy or being elderly? Don’t expect anyone, especially the men, to offer you a seat (or anything else to make things more comfortable for you). As a matter-of-fact, a female is more likely to help you than a male. I’ve traveled to 12 or 13 countries so far and, hands down, people in the United Kingdom are the rudest I’ve ever met.

4. Child welfare – I’ve worked in social services for many years, and I can say with confidence that while the United States can improve upon its services, the United States is more advanced than the United Kingdom in that regard. I prefer it here because one can work in various fields, learn different practice methods, and safeguard better. I also think that social work education is better in the United States. The United Kingdom has a long way to go to improved social services not just for child welfare, but all aspects of social services (including educating & training potential social workers).

5. Cost of living – If I remember correctly, London is more expensive than my city… and that’s saying a lot. And don’t get me started on the increase in wealthy people from all over the world buying properties in London for various reasons (if you’re smart, you’ll figure it out). It’s getting so bad that many native Londoners get forced out of their city, and I bet that’s by design (just like my city).

6. Narrow roads – I’ll admit that this one is silly, but come on. Why are the roads so narrow? Were they purposely designed to get people into accidents and road rage incidents? Even when America wasn’t filled with fat asses like me (and even when I wasn’t fat), damn near everything got built big. I’ll take the wide 3-7 lane streets & highways here over those narrow ass streets any day. The same goes for the sidewalks.

7. English breakfast – this is another silly one, but it’s one that many people over there take seriously. I’m sorry, but I can’t get with English breakfast. That link calls it “splendid”. I’m not fond of beans or fried tomato with eggs, but whatever… I can tolerate that if I had to. But anything containing mushrooms or black pudding… not one bit splendid. :-|

I think that’s it for now… I think. If you live in/lived in/visited the United Kingdom and there were things that bothered you, what were they? Is there anything I may have missed? I’m getting forgetful in my old age. :-|

My next post will list the things that I miss about the country. In the meantime, check out the video below and pay attention to the chorus. To be continued…

Finally.

I’m pleased to tell you that after 7 months of hell & unemployment – an employer that turned out to be shady, forced repatriation, sending out hundreds of copies of my resumé, receiving countless rejection letters (or not receiving any responses at all) after interviews that turned out to be fruitless, and many other disappointments – I finally got a job offer and began working a few days ago.

Words fail me, as I’ve experienced so much over the past 7 months. Betrayed by an employer, betrayed by certain relatives, rejected by recruiters & recruitment agencies in England, etc. 7 months of hell. Therefore, I can’t find the words now to express my feelings/thoughts. For now, I’ll just say thank you, supporters.

More writing to come in the future; I’ll have a lot to say and need to figure out how to organize it. Little by little, step by step, day by day.

Related posts:
Home (bitter)sweet home.
http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/10/27/home-bittersweet-home/

Hard knock life. http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/11/06/hard-knock-life/

This sounds familiar. http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/11/14/this-sounds-familiar/

Reset my life. http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/11/21/reset-my-life/

Jobseeker(s). http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/12/04/jobseekers/

Some things change… http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2013/12/19/some-things-change/

Limbo. http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2014/01/20/limbo/

Staying put. http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2014/02/03/staying-put/

Faces of Bougainville: Mother and Daughter

Spinster:

Happy International Women’s Day.

Originally posted on A Traveller's Tale:

Jessie T. Ponce Photography
“Mother and Child”; Autonomous Region of Bougainvile; December 2012

This image, my favorite amongst my Bougainville portraits, made me think  of the unusual role this mother and daughter play in the family.  Almost all the clans in Bougainville are matriarchal.  Intrigued by this unfamiliar practice, I had to ask a Bougainvillean woman colleague how it works and she summed it up like this:  “Mothers hold an important leadership role, not only in the family but also within the clan, especially when it comes to rights and ownership over ancestral lands.  Clan land has to be under the name and discretion of the clan’s woman elder.  Only female children are entitled to inheritance.   Men and boys may use the land to prosper the family but the ownership remains under the name of a woman.”   I truly wonder about the advantages and disadvantages of this arrangement compared to…

View original 104 more words

Travel Contest: Win a Trip to New York!

Spinster:

Would you like to visit my city? If so, check out this travel contest.

Originally posted on The Shooting Star:

You read that right. A free trip to New York from India is on the cards! Lufthansa is flying one lucky winner to The Big Apple, and offering 4 nights at iconic hotels in Manhattan.

And you can win it.

New York City, Lufthansa to New York
Between the moon and New York City. Photo by Tony Fischer.

I know that many people don’t take part in travel contests because the odds seem against you. But trust me, it’s always worth a try. I relentlessly take part in contests, and it’s how I recently travelled to Australia and will soon be on my way to the Philippines. I became a contest-participating lunatic way before my blogging days, and won some of my earliest trips to Europe and Indonesia!

So follow my lead and try your luck in this one. Who knows, the stars might just align and take you to New York.

What do you win?

  • 1…

View original 257 more words

13 portraits of homeless people.

This link resonated with me so much that I decided to post it on my blog. It resonates with me more than most people will ever know (but may discuss at a later date?). You never know who’s going through what under the surface.

The portraits are from the United Kingdom (London, to be exact). Thanks to Alternet for this link.

13 portraits of homeless people as they want to be viewed http://www.alternet.org/culture/13-portraits-homeless-people-they-want-be-viewed-slideshow