Category Archives: expatriate

Gratitude 10.26.2014.

Written 10.26.2014:

I’m feeling: relaxed after getting lots of sleep.

I’m listening to: a DVRed episode of Dead Again.

I’m grateful for: a steady paycheck – I don’t have to enjoy my job, but it’s providing for now. New professional opportunities. My clients enjoying themselves at a local arts foundation. A new jacket for autumn – something I wasn’t able to get 1 year ago due to what happened to me. Having a few days off from work a few days ago to handle some business. Speaking to my 2nd oldest nephew for his birthday earlier this month. Learning about different ways to get cheap(er) plane tickets via Facebook (of all places). Being contacted by a former co-worker in England, who confirmed that I dodged a bullet in spite of what they did to me. Seeing a friend of mine whom I hadn’t seen in a few years (good to see you, R). My new fitness tracker – the price dropped so I took advantage. A discerning spirit.

I’m creating: the possibility of a new professional opportunity.

I’m enjoying: reading. My Kindle. Kindle daily deals, which help me save money on buying books. Dead Again. A less complicated life. Slowly but surely getting back on my feet.

I’m thinking about: what’s next for me after getting the next highest professional license. Where this potential professional opportunity may take me. The fact that it has been 1 year since I had to leave England. How bittersweet it is to think about returning here, and how it still affects me to this day. When I’m going to return to handle my business there, as this professional opportunity may take precedence over returning there next month and, therefore, delay my return there for a month or so.

I’m reading: I’m actually trying to decide what to read next. I just finished The Alchemist a few days ago, and I have so many decent books on my Kindle, I don’t know where to start next. I may read one of the books that I read when I was younger, just to read whichever book I choose with an older & wiser perspective. Stay tuned.

I’m looking forward to: seeing D’NALI this week. :-) Weighing myself to see if I lost any weight. (P.S. losing weight is hard, and I hope this is my first & only time having to do it.)

I’m learning to/practicing to/working on/embracing: ways to avoid going down the rabbit hole. Rebuilding my life slowly but surely. My fitness, health & wellness.

Around the house are: my exercise sneakers. Clean laundry waiting to be put away. Healthy snacks.

In my kitchen: is a pot soaking in the sink.

I’m planning later in the coming week to: return to checking flight prices to/from Kentucky and England – gave up for a bit due to frustration over prices, but recently learned (what are hopefully) 1 or 2 helpful tricks. Follow up with a few questions about handling my business in England – that was frustrating too. Check that one last piece of information for my license paperwork/application made it to the state board offices (luckily, the rest of the paperwork is already there). Meet up with D’NALI. Possibly meet up with step-dad for dinner later this week. Buy a bus ticket to see my stepmother & sister in Pennsylvania again. Follow up on that professional opportunity. Continue working out. Attend my doctor’s appointment.

My quote/verse for the upcoming week is: don’t sweat the small stuff; pick & choose battles wisely.

I’m wishing you: a good, peaceful & productive week.

My clients made books.
My clients made books.

The end. (Or the beginning?)

Exactly 1 year ago today, I left the United Kingdom after living there for over 3 years. It’s hard to even type that.

One of my dreams as a kid was to live abroad, whether for a long time or for good. That dream came true when I was given the opportunity to work in the United Kingdom. That dream came to an end, and not in the way in which I wanted. I even planned to return, but to no avail.

Were it up to me, I’d still be there. I wanted to get extra professional experience, dual citizenship, extra chances to travel, and a new life. I wanted things to end on my terms; I wanted to leave when I was ready. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. I lost almost everything; my dream went down the drain. I came back to the United States with only a few suitcases holding a bit of clothing, a few books, and a few treasured items. Meanwhile, those that fucked up my dream continue on as if nothing happened.

I was ashamed because even though it wasn’t my fault, I came home with nothing to show for my time there (or that’s how it seems). I came home to couchsurfing, no job in sight, and very little support – family included. I lost a lot (and gained nothing but pounds). Family turned on me. Friends – scarce. And retelling my story over again – not an option. I have to live it and that’s painful enough, so why the hell would I want to repeat it?

1 year ago today marked the end of an era, the end of my dream as I had it planned and hoped it’d turn out. It’s still a bit painful, still bittersweet. I miss traveling. I miss my Meetup groups and the experiences that came along with them. I missed living abroad. I experience nostalgia sometimes, and I miss the few dear friends I made, so much. I miss what could’ve and should’ve been.

But maybe… just maybe… the end was the beginning of a new part of my life journey. Only time will tell. And as far as that country, I’m not yet done with it. I still have unfinished business there to handle, and most importantly, I still have a few dear friends there.

I needed to get this out. Thanks for reading/listening. And please stay tuned; I still have a long road ahead.

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Life-changing day.

Exactly 1 year ago today, I received a letter in the mail that’d change my life for a long time, if not for good.

It was a Thursday evening, and I came home from a long day at work, with my team on duty for 3 days straight. I was glad to be home. It’d been my home for a little over 3 years, and I thought I’d be there for a long time to come.

There was mail in front of my door. I picked it up and saw that one piece was from the Home Office. I thought to myself

Oh, good. The Home Office will renew my visa. I’ll get to stay here a bit longer, save money, travel a bit, and even look into dual citizenship.

I put away my belongings, settled in to read my mail and maybe watch a little television – likely something I DVRed, no doubt. I opened the Home Office mail and read it. Then my heart sank deep into my stomach. The Home Office denied my visa application. I was a overstayer.

I re-read the letter a few times to make sure that it wasn’t a joke. But nothing in the letter changed. I was an accidental overstayer. I was speechless for a bit, and even fought back tears. (I can’t remember who won – me or the tears.) I called my aunt and let her know, and I told her I’d keep her posted.

Little did I know that this was the beginning of the end – the end of my expatriate life, the end of my independence, and the end of my life as I lived it for ___ years. And to this day, I’m still feeling the effects – they aren’t as strong as 1 year ago or even a few months ago, but they’re still there.

I hope my day is so busy that I don’t dwell on the anniversary. I hope that the bitterness goes away completely one day – some of it is gone, but some still remains. I hope that I can handle unfinished business over there. But in the meantime, for the way my expatriate life ended over there, that place can go straight to hell.

Late gratitude.

Today 07.25.2014:

I’m feeling: contemplative.

I’m listening to: one of my co-workers blasting music in Spanish.  It’s the end of the work week and big bosses took the day off, so why not.

I’m thinking: I’ve come a long way, but still have a very long way to go.  I shouldn’t let life get in the way of blogging weekly or so.  I need a real vacation.

I’m reading: The Social Work Interview. Only a few pages in, but at least that’s a start?

I’m looking forward to: getting my hair done; it has been over 3 months.  Having next Friday off for seeing my stepmother & sister next weekend.  Getting away for that weekend.  The time when I’ll be able to really travel again.  The time when I’ll finally be back on my feet, independent again.

I’m learning that: I’ve come a long way, but still have a very long way to go and more self-work to do.  Sometimes, just listening is all a person needs to begin healing.  (Luckily as an introvert, listening is one thing I do alright.)  I don’t have to allow someone else’s negativity to affect me.  I’m seeing how some people give without expecting anything back in return.  I may have to do even more than I’m already doing to lose weight (and trust me, I’m tracking & doing everything possible).  Expecting less = less disappointment.

I’m enjoying: my aunt’s NutriBullet juices & smoothies.  The experimentation has been quite tasty.

I’m grateful for: being employed in spite of the job being imperfect.  The ability to buy a bus ticket to see my stepmother & sister.  Paying off 3 debts so far this year.  Doing the tarot reading that my friend kept insisting I should try; it was a new experience and gave me lots of food for thought.  My aunt & uncle.  My stepfather.  Learning something new every day. Dodging literal bullets.  Joining the gym.  Finding a Groupon deal for the local kickboxing gym; it helps me mix up my exercise/workout while saving a few bucks.  Finally making & completing one of my doctor’s appointments.  Living in a peaceful home with aunt & uncle from the very start – they say it’s my energy/spirit/aura, but surely it isn’t just me contributing.  Chatting with my friend’s daughter in England on Whatsapp – she’s getting married next year, very happy for her and will definitely attend.  Getting a call from another expatriate who’s still in England but hopefully returning here soon – it was so good to hear from them.

Around the house are: fans and an air conditioner.

In the kitchen: fruits that aunt bought to experiment with juices & smoothies.

In the coming week, I plan to: follow-up with one more doctor’s appointment. Cook once or twice. Work out (as usual). Get a lock for the gym locker. Weigh myself (for better or worse, it hasn’t been done in over a month and it needs doing).  Work late to have Friday off to see my stepmother & sister. Speak with someone who can verify my hours for my next professional license paperwork & test.  Think even more about my tarot reading – so much food for thought.

My quote/verse for the upcoming week is: Growing Pains

Weekly update 06.29.2014.

Today:

I’m feeling: neither here nor there.

I’m listening to: blowing fans keeping us cool. The TV – FIFA World Cup Costa Rica vs. Greece with my uncle. (Haven’t followed the World Cup aside from this, to be honest. Basketball is more my game.)

I’m thinking: I’m so glad that this is a short work week. I want to re-start studying Portuguese again. I need to brush up on my Spanish; I took it for too many years (even minored in it in college) to just let it die. I need to update my résumé, fill out some paperwork for the next highest professional license, and apply for another credential. I wonder if I should take up my friend’s offer of getting a psychic reading? Never did one before…

I’m reading: nothing now, but that should change this coming week, as my now-former supervisor gave me 2 more reading books for my profession. I should be able to get myself a Kindle in July.

I’m looking forward to: having a short work week. Going to the gym; it really impressed me and I look forward to going regularly. Paying off 1 debt. Having something to do for the weekend (hopefully).

I’m learning that: I must stop always feeling the need to explain myself. Losing weight won’t mean much if my self-confidence is negative. Nothing will get done unless I do it – someone on my social media news feed said “Never ask for help. The ones who tell you don’t be afraid to ask are the same ones who claim they can’t help.” and sadly, I must agree. It isn’t even from a place of frustration anymore; it’s just a resigned acceptance and the story of most of my life.

I’m enjoying: these pita chips, which are healthier than buying & eating a bunch of cookies.

I’m grateful for: taking a free Krav Maga class last week, although it made me quite nostalgic about taking it while overseas. (I can admit that sometimes, I miss that place in spite of what they did to me. Blog post about that coming soon.) Joining the gym. My stepfather. My aunt & uncle. The ability to choose to stay away from (potential & definite) toxic situations with toxic people. My work team (minus upper management). Speaking to my friend’s daughter in England earlier today – I miss their family so much.

Around the house are: lazy folks enjoying a lazy weekend.

In the kitchen: new groceries.

I’m planning this week to: follow-up with the doctor’s office – doing the job of 3 people at work makes me quite forgetful, and it is time for me to just write a note so that I don’t keep forgetting because my health is more important that any job. Cook once or twice. Go to the gym. Get extra workout clothing and a lock for the gym locker. Do something for the long weekend. Look for a ticket to see my stepmother & sister since I couldn’t see them this weekend after all (long story).

My quote/verse for the upcoming week is: none that I can think of for this week. However, I suggest DailyOM for wise words when you want.

First Caribbean Restaurant Week in New York, June 22-28

Spinster:

Just saw someone post this on Facebook. Didn’t know that the month of June is considered Caribbean Heritage Month. Learning something new every day. This week – June 22-28, 2014 – is the first Caribbean Restaurant Week in New York.

Originally posted on Repeating Islands:

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A post by Peter Jordens.

The West Indian American Day Carnival Association (WIADCA), producers of the New York Caribbean Carnival on Labor Day and the Brooklyn Chamber of Commerce (BCC) have partnered to produce the first Caribbean Restaurant Week in New York from June 22 – 28, 2014.

Participating restaurants will showcase the many cultures and cuisines that originate in the Caribbean. Foodies can discover a multitude of bold and bright flavors including delicious callaloo, griot, roti, stewed or jerk meats, and ice-cold beverages featuring Caribbean fruit and rums. Over 29 restaurants across New York City are expected to participate and they are listed below.

“New York City is rich in Caribbean history and culture, and we look forward to supporting and promoting Caribbean restaurants in our area,” said William Howard, WIADCA’s President.

“Caribbean restaurant week is the perfect opportunity to experience that flavor and excitement that this community…

View original 598 more words

Week in review 06.22.2014.

Today:

I’m feeling: okay. This past week was a little better than the last. I’ve made peace with one or two things, and I’m treading softly at work.

I’m listening to: the TV – Lockup: Raw. My uncle & aunt laughing.

I’m thinking: I need to go to the laundromat. I want to get my hair done. I want to go to a spa for at least half-day; how to fit it in is the challenge. I have to get ready for the upcoming work week. I hope that my friend visiting the United Kingdom remembers to bring back some tea for me (but I’ll understand if she forgets for obvious reasons). I’m not sure what’s gonna happen after my supervisor leaves in a few days, and that mightn’t be a good thing. I’m kinda surprised that I’m still getting calls to work back in England. I’d consider returning to England if the price is right and the opportunities to advance are on par with what I’d expect here. I don’t have much faith that England could offer me those things, though, so there that goes. I need to book a ticket to return because I have unfinished business to handle over there.

I’m reading: nothing. I may have to wait until July to get the Kindle; something unexpected came up this past week. My supervisor did, however, give me 2 books to read that have to do with my profession, so I may start reading one of them.

I’m looking forward to: seeing my stepmother & sister out-of-state; haven’t seen them since before moving to England. Getting behind the wheel of a car (just for a couple of days) for the first time in over a year and a half. Taking (what I think is a free trial) Krav Maga class, with the option to continue if it’s affordable. Working out at Planet Fitness.

I’m learning that: too many people pass the buck to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Too many people (especially those in power) want to control others and cross others’ boundaries, but are adamant about anyone controlling them and crossing their boundaries. (These are observations from the workplace, but the observations can also apply outside of work.) Some people are in my life for a reason and a season. Sometimes, it’s not me, it’s you.

I’m enjoying: the Spurs beating the Heat.

I’m creating: a healthier body (hopefully). A new & improved life in the long run (hopefully).

I’m grateful for: my uncle reaching a milestone birthday this weekend. My sister reaching her birthday the other day. Getting through another kickboxing class without as much soreness as the first time, which hopefully means that my body is getting used to it.

Nickname.
Nickname.

Around the house are: uncle’s plants. Blowing fans. Laundry ready for the laundromat.

In the kitchen: some fruits & vegetables from the farmers’ market, ready for cooking and/or juicing. Uncle’s ice cream cake. Iced tea.

Local farmers' market.
Local farmers’ market.

I’m planning this week to: follow-up with the doctor’s office. Cook once or twice. Take Krav Maga class. Try fitting in a kickboxing class before going out-of-state at the end of the week. Go to Planet Fitness. Focus on eating healthy at my stepmother’s barbecue. :-|

My quote/verse for the upcoming week is: “Creating ways to be happy is your life’s work, a challenge that won’t end until you die.” –Martha Beck (Wikipedia)

Week in review 06.15.2014.

Today:

I’m feeling: a little relaxed, physically. Otherwise, so-so.

I’m listening to: (or more like watching) Investigation Discovery channel.

I’m thinking: hopefully this week will be better than last week. Last week was rough & disappointing, in my professional life and my personal life.

The weather wasn't much better.
The weather wasn’t much better.

I’m reading: on the internet to try catching up with current events.

I’m looking forward to: joining Planet Fitness later this week. Taking another kickboxing class (planning to do this once per week or once biweekly). My sister’s birthday. My uncle’s birthday.

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I’m learning that: friendship is fleeting. It’s not always me, it’s you/them. No matter what one says or does (or doesn’t say or doesn’t do), one can’t satisfy everyone. I can’t take on others’ personal issues. I must look out for myself because no job no friend no relative no one else will.

I’m enjoying: not much this past week, unfortunately.

I’m creating/planning: my next steps professionally and personally. A trip somewhere – don’t know where, but the travel bug is back again and it must be addressed with an overseas trip (hopefully within the next 12 months). The expatriate bug has been biting on & off too, so who knows what’s next…

I’m grateful for: spending time with my friend’s family on Friday evening – they’re the American version of the Mauritian family in England. Someone online who not only offered me an ear, but followed through and lent it to me – too many make promises and don’t keep ‘em, do things only if it benefits them and if it’s reciprocated even more than what they gave.

Around the house are: my boxing gloves for kickboxing class.

In the kitchen: a Carvel ice cream cake for my uncle for Father’s Day and a quickly-planned lunch for my uncle (nothing fancy, but hopefully he’ll like it).

I’m planning this week to: schedule other appointments with referred doctors. Cook once or twice. Take kickboxing class again. Join Planet Fitness. Figure out my next professional steps. Figure out how to get to my stepmother’s graduation barbeque. Rethink all friendships. Rethink myself. Try staying focused on rebuilding my life because unfortunately, what that borough did to me still reverberates throughout my life to this day.

My quote/verse for the upcoming week is:

“Even when we’re quiet and don’t know what to say, we can be heard. Even when we are wordless, we can be understood.”

(Introvert Spring)

But Can I Get a Taxi?

Spinster:

Do you use any of these cab/taxi apps during your travels and/or daily life? If so, how would you rate ‘em and why? What do you think of the economic & travel points made by this blog post? And finally, if you don’t use any of these apps, would you consider doing so for your future travels and/or daily life?

Originally posted on The Uppity Negro:

black man taxi

This past Memorial Day weekend, I took a week vacation from work and took the Amtrak to Los Angeles (please believe I took a plane back to New Orleans), and per my normal habit when traveling, I had made plans to rent a car.  But since I wasn’t renting a car from an airport, that made returning the car a bit more cumbersome seeing as how I was flying out of LAX with an 8:55am morning flight.  There was no way I was going to be able to get from NoHo (North Hollywood) where I’d be able to drop the car off Tuesday morning (because they would be closed on both Sunday and Monday of the holiday weekend), and beat it through LA traffic back to LAX.  So my friend was more or like, don’t worry I don’t mind driving, but you can use Lift.

Yes, I really thought it…

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Week in review 13-18 May.

Today:

I’m feeling: under the weather. Damn blasted allergies. :-|

I’m listening to: myself typing on this keyboard, along with silence. Aunt is taking a nap, uncle is outside doing who knows what, and I’m recovering from exercising and a night out.

I’m thinking: when aunt wakes up and we go run errands, I need to get some extra-strength allergy medicine. :-|

I’m reading: same as last week. Hoping to get a Kindle some time next month.

I’m looking forward to: the upcoming long weekend (Memorial Day). Dinner with (ex) stepfather this week (he had a family emergency last week, so we postponed). One of our staff members returning to work from knee surgery so that my load is lightened a bit. (I’m also glad, of course, that the staff member is recovering well.)

I’m learning: that I can’t make a person change; one must want change for oneself. It sucks feeling helpless about it, but I can’t do anything to change another. That I may have a few extra opportunities to advance my career, thanks to hearing things confirmed through the grapevine. That even though recruitment agencies from England keep contacting me, not a damn thing has changed with their social services system. (One borough wants to interview me when they come to New York City next month, but I’m extremely ambivalent about returning there for many reasons. Here’s one of the reasons why.)

I’m enjoying: being “in the know” just a little when it comes to some things at work. I appreciate being valued by a job and knowing a few inner workings of upper management. I don’t know what the future holds, but if nothing else, this job is definitely a learning experience.

Work bound.
Work bound.

I’m creating: dinner tonight, and they better eat every bite. :-|

I’m grateful for: getting to celebrate my good friend’s milestone birthday last night. Seeing a few people at the gathering who I’ve not seen in as little as a few years and as much as double-digit years. Lots of laughter. Being mindful of what I ate and not going overboard (healthy living can be hard – but not impossible – sometimes). Enjoying Reese’s peanut butter cups and still not going overboard. Allowing myself exercise breaks when needed, like today. My (ex) stepmother graduating with her Master’s of Social Work yesterday; I’m so happy for her, and I hope that I helped her even 1% with my advice. I couldn’t attend the graduation, but I’ll see her and my youngest sister at her celebration next month. :-)

Happy birthday, friend.
Happy birthday, friend.

Around the house are: weekly groceries to be put away. New laundry to be put away.

In the kitchen: dinner food in the refrigerator, waiting to be cooked later. Dishes in the sink that aunt is complaining about even though I told her I’ll wash ‘em after I finish cooking. :-| Food to be prepped for the rest of the week; always better to get it out of the way now when I have time. :-|

I’m planning this week to: schedule a doctor’s appointment for the first time since returning to the U.S.; I won’t bore anyone with my gripes about the healthcare system. Cook once or twice. Find out if anyone is having a Memorial Day weekend barbeque or gathering. Get a well-overdue manicure & pedicure for my upcoming trip to see my sister and a friend or two. Shampoo 9 years’ worth of dreads (D’NALI started ‘em for me 05.15.2005).

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My quote/verse for the upcoming week is: It wasn’t a waste of time if you learned something.

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