City girl.

(My From Above post inspired me to write the following post.)

I’m a New York City girl. I was born & raised there, it’s part of my identity, and it reverberates through my heart & soul. No matter where I go, it’ll always be my first home.

So when I began receiving e-mails some years ago from different agencies & organisations, recruiting Americans to work overseas, I refused many of them. Why, you ask? Among other reasons, I just couldn’t see myself living that far away from a city centre. It was only when I was ready, and only when I received e-mails from bigger places, that I decided it was time to make my move.

So here I am, solo, almost 3 years later. Although I know people here, they either don’t like doing the things I do and/or they’re flakes. Also, although there are lots of couples here (which is a feat in itself, in my opinion), dating in this country is different from dating back home. Since moving here, no one likes me, no one approaches me, and despite my many efforts at being open to dating/relationships here, nothing ever happened. As a result, I do things solo 98% of the time.

This is where being a city girl comes in handy. There are so many things to do here, I can get on solo with no problems. For example, in the From Above post, I went to the food festival on my own. I asked a couple of people if they wanted to go, and they either never responded or they flaked out on me at the last minute… which is why I often don’t bother inviting people with me anywhere. Since my friends are back home and they’re the only ones who like at least some of the things I like, I just do things on my own over here. What better place to do that than in a big city? (And as I’ve said countless times, thank goodness for Meetup.) I know I wouldn’t do well solo if I was far outside of a big city. I probably would’ve moved back home by now, honestly, if I lived that far away.

¡Viva la revolución!

¡Viva la revolución!

So for me, living in or very close to a big city suits me best. I need access to many different venues & activities, and a big city usually has these things easily accessible to its inhabitants & visitors. Don’t get me wrong – I appreciate suburban & rural areas for escaping from the negative aspects of city life, including stupid self-entitled neighbours with loud, crying, whining ass children noise & rude people. But even in a big city, I can find (and have found) a quiet place to call home.

So expatriates, in what environment did you grow up? In what environment are you currently living, and which one do you prefer & why?

See? There's peace & quiet & greenery here too.

See? There’s peace & quiet & greenery here too.

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11 thoughts on “City girl.

  1. Hello there spinster kindred,
    I wholehearted agree with you about moving away or abroad. It has to be to a big city or the social solitude will crush you. I am trying very hard to find a job that will take me to London. Unlike you, I have wonderful luck dating in London. I want to move there for my love life (that sucks rocks in NYC) What professions, companies actively recruit Americans? The economy and the job market has been quite bleak for several years now.

    • Interesting… how have you been lucky with dating? And as far as work, your best bet is to check the United Kingdom Border Agency website, which should give you a list of professions here that have a shortage. Thanks for coming over.

  2. People are flaky everywhere – hate it when you make plans and at the last minute they duck out or fail to appear.
    You are in a great spot with lots to do – and there’s quiet spots if you look for them. The “city negatives” are perceptions – all in the eye of the beholder.
    I waver back and between city and country(not to be confused with suburbia)…can I have a small spot in each?
    Have a great weekend..I know you’ll be doing something interesting and fun (jealous…hot and boring here)

  3. Hey Spinster. I may have read your post differently than what you had intended but your post made me feel for you. I can’t speak to what it’s like to be an expatriate and living a life that is not what you’ve grown up with. I agree that being in the city makes having a social life more convenient than living out in the ‘burbs. I have heard that making friends in the UK may be difficult for “foreigners”. I’m not sure why but I get the feeling it is cultural. I had read an article about the difference between making friends in America vs. in the UK. I don’t remember where I read it but I thought some of the comments were interesting and insightful.

    Have you talked with any of your native british friends about the dating scene? I can’t imagine it being that different than in NYC.

    Also, when i had considered trying to get work in London, i had joined an expat group in london via FB. Are you associated with any expat meet ups?

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